Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but never see them.
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A blonde goes into a near by store and asks the clerk if she can buy the T.V. in the corner.
The store clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day and asks the same thing, and again he said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes back home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure the clerk would sell her the T.V. by now, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says she doesn't serve blondes as well.
The blond asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I'm a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her and says, "That's not a T.V.- it's a microwave!"
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Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A: They can't get their heads in the jars.
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
"Run faster....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth."
How does a blonde answer the question, ‘Are you sexually active?’
‘No, I just lie there.’
Blonde: "I'm on the road a lot, and my clients are complaining that they can never reach me."
Psychiatrist: "Don't you have a cell phone?"
Blonde: "They're too expensive, so I did the next best thing: I put a mailbox in my car."
Psychiatrist: "And do you receive any letters?"
Blonde: "No, but I figure it's because when I'm driving around, my zip code keeps changing."
Q: Why did the blonde go to the dentist?
A: Someone dented her car.
How do you break a blonde's nose?
Place a dildo under a glass table!
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident.
Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped.
"Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant.
Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began.
I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me.
So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree!
I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree!
I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles.
That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!"
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?"