Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but never see them.
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Q: How many blonde jokes are there?
A: One. The rest are all true stories.
A blonde's house is on fire.
She runs outside and yells, "Help me! My house is on fire! What do I do?!"
Someone else yells, "Call 911!"
The blonde yells back, "What's the number?"
Chuck Norris drives in reverse and still drives better than you...
A blonde calls her mom...
Blonde: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!"
Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?"
Blonde: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."
Three blondes witness a crime so they go to the police station to identify the suspect.
The police chief shows them the first mug shot.
"That's not him," the first blonde states.
"This man only has one eye."
The chief is stunned.
"He only has one eye because it's a profile shot."
He repeats the procedure for the second blonde.
"That's not him.This man only has one ear," she answers.
He smacks his head.
"It's a profile shot."
He repeats the procedure for the third blonde.
After viewing the photo, she says, "That's not him. This man is wearing contact lenses."
"How do you know that?"
"Well," she says, "he can't wear glasses with only one eye and one ear, now can he?"
A blonde comes home to find her husband in bed with a redhead.
She grabs a gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband begs her not to shoot herself.
The blonde shouts at her husband, ‘Shut up!
You’re next!’
What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back
Death: It's your time. give me your hand
Blonde: No! i know that if i dont touch you then I'll never die!
Death: Holy shit! You figured out the key to living forever! You're soooo smart! High five!
Blonde: *high fives*
Death: Typical blonde... Dumbass...
Q: Why did the blond layout on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?
A: She wanted to get a dark tan.