What is a cursor?
Someone having computer problems.
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Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.
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Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office. I will find you. You have my Word.
My software never has bugs.
It just develops random features.
At a recent software engineering management course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer.
‘If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?’
Among the forest of raised hands, only one man sat motionless.
When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay onboard. With his team’s software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone take off.
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A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it.
"Due to lack of maintenance," he read, "we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account."
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Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
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Q: How do you fix a broken website?
A: With stick e-tape.
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Q: How many Object Oriented programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they send it a message, and it changes itself.
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