What is a cursor?
Someone having computer problems.
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I needed to quickly run a SQL command to update a single row in an Oracle DB table at work.
To my horror, it came back with –2,193,674 rows affected.
If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
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Your Momma is so fat, she takes her picture with Google Earth.
HR manager to job candidate: ‘I see you’ve had no computer training.
Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.’
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If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
How many social media marketers does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s not about the change - it’s about engaging people in conversations about the light bulb change.
Q: Why do C# programmers have trouble dating women?
A: They want women with class, but they treat them like objects.
There are 2 types of people in the world. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data
Yo momma so FAT, she can't save files bigger than 4 GB.