Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine. I guess that was why several of us died of tuberculosis.
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
A Mexican and a nigger are riding in car. Who's driving? A cop!
Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common? A: They aren't much to look at but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.
What's red and crawls up your leg? A homesick miscarriage.
Q: What did one casket say to the sick casket? A: Is that you coughin'?
Steve lies dying, as Jack, his law partner of 40 years, sits at his bedside. "Jack, I've got to confess -- I've been sleeping with your wife for 30 years, I'm the father of your daughter, and I've been stealing from the firm for a decade." "Relax," says Jack, "and don't think another thing about it. I'm the one who put arsenic in your martini."
A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
Q: What is height of Suicide? A: A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
Q: How many Ethiopians can you fit into a telephone booth? A: All of them.
A school in the United States is on fire. One fireman is throwing the kids through the window, while the other one is standing on the ground and catching them. After half of an hour the upper fireman asks: Hey man, why aren't you catching black kids? Oh damn, I thought these were the burnt ones.