Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose.
Ortoise: How does he smell?
Gemma: Awful!
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Did you find my horse well behaved?
Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before?
Deja phew.
What is the difference between an pilot and a pig?
The pig doesn't turn into a pilot when it's drunk.
Q. What did one frog say to another?
A. You're such a WART!
Q. What did the frog say to the fly?
A. You are really starting to bug me!
Why don't cows ever have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry.
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
Q. How does a frog confuse you?
A. When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
An elderly couple was just settled down for bed when the old man realized he left the lights on in the greenhouse in the back yard.
Then they heard voices.
Three men had broken into the greenhouse.
Scared, they called the police.
The dispatcher replied, he would send an officer as soon as one became available as they were all out on calls.
The old man waited for a few minutes and called Dispatch again.
He told Dispatch, "Don't worry about sending an officer, I shot the robbers and now the dogs are eating their bodies!"
In no time at all, police were all over the place and captured the robbers red-handed!
One of the cops asked the old man, "I thought you said you shot the robber and your dogs were eating them.
" The old man replied, "I thought you said, there weren't any officers available."