Joke #5596

Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose. Ortoise: How does he smell? Gemma: Awful!
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
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How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
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Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine." His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. The other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine." Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
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has 75.73 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, sex, wife
Q: How do you know the Easter Bunny is really smart? A: Because he's an egghead.
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has 44.67 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, easter
Q: What do women and cats have in common? A: Pussy farts.
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has 39.56 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, fart, women
The matchmaker approached a single woman and told her he had a husband for her. “I’m ashamed to bring this up,” he said, “but the man wants to be sure you are compatible in bed. He wants, he says, a sample.” The woman was shocked. “Such a thing you ask a Christian virtuous woman? Such a crude person would suggest such a thing? He must be a barnyard animal, not a gentleman.” The matchmaker, trying to earn a fee, said, “He’s a pragmatic, man. After all, to him it’s not a big deal… just a sample.” She thought a minute. “A pragmatic man, is he? So tell him I don’t give samples. I can give him 50 or 60 references, if he wants, though.
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has 54.09 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: animal, christian, dirty, husband, women
A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown. She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep. She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?" The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?" "Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car. The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"
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has 66.43 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, dog, math, money
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why? Because that was the end of May!
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, time
What do you call fish poop? BassTurds!
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has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, game