What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia?
A cancelled Czech!
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Hey, did you hear about the cannibal who arrived late to the dinner party?
They gave him the cold shoulder!
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Q: Whats the height of desperation?
A: A vampire sucking blood from a sanitary napkin.
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As she lay there dozing next to me a voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax, you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients."
But another voice kept saying, "Howard, you are a veterinarian."
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What's grosser than gross?
A bloody mary with curly, brittle hairs in it!
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Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle.
They made it to an uninhabited island.
Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing.
Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing.
Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again–being so ashamed of what they were doing.
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Q: What do you call someone who doesn't fart in public?
A: A private tooter.
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What’s the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
You don’t cry when you chop up a dead baby.
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Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
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Q: How many hipsters does it take to flush a toilet?
A: You can't touch that toilet, it's art.
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There was a horny young lady named Lil,
Who fucked dynamite sticks for a thrill.
They found her vagina
In North Carolina
And bits of her tits in Brazil!
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