What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia?
A cancelled Czech!
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Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets?
A: He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.
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A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one.
After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck.
The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm.
"But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend.
"Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
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What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus with a yeast infection?
An itchy, twitchy twat!
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What do you call a trash bag full of mutilated laboratory monkeys?
Rhesus Pieces.
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Why fart and waste when you can burp and taste?
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Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.
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Q: How can you tell if you're in a gay church?
A: Only half the congregation is kneeling.
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The bartender looks a little worried, but asks him what would he like.
"A cup of boiled water please"
"Water? I thought you guys drank blood"
"Today I was in the mood for tea", says the vampire while taking out a tampon.
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Birdie, birdie in the sky
Dropped some white stuff in my eye,
I'm a big girl I won't cry,
I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
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What's black, smells and has 17 tits?
The bin bags outside the breast cancer ward.
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