What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia?
A cancelled Czech!
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: What's the hardest thing about a sex change from a man to a woman?
A: Inserting the anchovies
Vote:
A vacuum salesman goes door-to-door in a new neighborhood.
When a woman answers the door at the first house, the salesman walks right in and drops cow patties on her floor.
He says, "Ma'am, just to show you how confident I am in the quality of my vacuums, I'll eat whatever the vacuum doesn't pick up."
The woman smiles and asks, "Could I get you some ketchup with that?"
The salesman scoffs confidently and says, "I assure you my vacuums have more power than any other on the market today!"
The woman replies, "Well, that may be so, but we just moved in and the electricity isn't turned on yet."
Vote:
A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers.
He rushes to the emergency room.
The doctor says, "Give me the fingers and I'll see what I can do."
"But I don't have the fingers!"
"Why didn't you bring the fingers?!" asks the incredulous doctor.
"Doc, I couldn't pick them up."
Vote:
Him: "I'm going to come and see you, I don't care about the gas prices or anything I'm coming to no matter what."
Her: "Aw okay, I'm going to get ready."
Him: "I love you, I can't wait to see you, I'm getting ready to leave."
Her: "Okay honey, I'm on my period, just letting you know."
Him: "My car just blew up, I can't come see you."
Her: "Get your friend to bring you, he always does."
Him: "He got shot I can't come, sorry."
Her: "Never mind I'm not on my period, my panties are just red."
Him: "My boy said he is okay, he's going to take me, I'm going."
Her: "I'm really on my period."
Him: "Damn! He got shot again..."
Vote:
Joke has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, friendship, love, relationship
An old man and his wife went to the doctor's office.
The doctor asked the man for a blood, urine and feces sample.
The man was slightly deaf and said, "What?"
The doctor said, "I need a blood, urine and feces sample."
The man still looked puzzled, so his wife leaned over and yelled into his ear, "Sheldon, the doctor needs a pair of your underwear."
Vote:
Q: Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
A: They keep falling through the holes in his hands.
Vote:
Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first?
A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!
Vote:
Boy Monster: Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine's?
Girl Monster: Yes, I did. Thank you.
Boy Monster: Is it still beating?
Vote:
What is more disgusting than a pile of 100 dead babies?
One live one in the middle is eating its way out.
Vote:
At a restaurant, one of the customers notices that all of the waiters have two spoons in their vest pockets.
A waiter explains, "We see that the most frequently dropped silverware is spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement."
Then the customer notices a string hanging out of all the waiters' flies.
"The string is for us to go to the bathroom," explains the waiter.
"That way, when we pull it, it shoots and aims straight, and we don't need to use our hands."
The customer asks, "Well, that's how you get it out, but how do you get it back in?"
The waiter replies, "Well, that's another reason we carry the spoons."
Vote: