What's the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
Grandmothers don't die when you fuck them up the ass.
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Similar jokes
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Q: What is 40 feet long and smells like urine?
A: Line dancing at a nursing home.
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Malcolm: Miss Wilson can I go to the loo?
Miss Wilson: In two minutes Malcolm. Do your alphabet first.
Malcolm: Ok Miss Wilson. abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz.
Miss Wilson: Very good, Malcolm, but where's the p?
Malcolm: Miss, it's running down my leg!
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Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
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Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from
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There was this man who had a dog.
Every Sunday morning at 4:30 AM the man and the dog would go fishing.
One day, the man fell in love and got married.
After the wedding, when the man and the woman got in bed together, the man turned to the woman.
"Tomorrow is Sunday and every Sunday morning, me and my dog go fishing at 4:30 AM. We'd like you to come along."
"And what if I don't want to come along?" the woman asked impatiently.
"Well then, sweetie, we'll just have to have buttsex."
With that, the man rolled over and fell asleep, and left the woman pondering.
"God, I hate having the buttsex, but I also hate getting up so early. I'll have to think about this more."
In the morning, the woman could hear the man going downstairs to get the dog.
It was much too early for the woman to get up so she decided to wait for the inevitable buttsex.
She waited for about half an hour and fell back asleep, thinking her husband had left already.
She awoke to the man, pulling on her arm.
"Have you made your decision?" he asked
"Yes," she replied. "I do not want to go fishing."
True to his word, the man pulled down his pants.
"By the way, what took you so long to come upstairs? It usually doesn't take that long to get Sparky up."
"I know," the man said. "He didn't want to go either."
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There was a young man from Peru
Who fell asleep in a canoe
He dreamt that Venus
was strokin' his penis
And woke with a handfull of goo
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This is a visual joke.
Blow some cigarette smoke into a shoe, what do you have?
A palestinian waiting for the bus.
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Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm."
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Q: Did you hear about the annoying midget who went to a nudist colony?
A: He kept getting in everyone's hair.
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Two missionaries in Africa were apprehended by a tribe of very hostile cannibals who put them in a large pot of water, built a huge fire under it, and left them there.
A few minutes later, one of the missionaries started to laugh uncontrollably.
The other missionary couldn't believe it! He said, "What's wrong with you? We're being boiled alive! They're gonna eat us! What could possibly be funny at a time like this?"
The other missionary replied, "I just peed in the soup!"
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