What's the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
Grandmothers don't die when you fuck them up the ass.
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Q: What do women and cats have in common?
A: Pussy farts.
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Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?"
Matthew: "I don't know. What?"
Michael: "Candy corneas."
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Joke has 54.49 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, doctor, Halloween, morbid
A young, innocent couple goes on their honeymoon.
They get naked and jump into bed, but neither knows what to do.
Eventually, they decide to rub their noses together.
After awhile, they decide to rub their toes together.
Finally, they begin to rub their hips together.
Suddenly, the man jumps up and runs to the bathroom.
After several minutes, he returns to the bedroom, looking scared.
"What happened?" asks his bride.
"I don't know," he replies, "but something curdled my urine!"
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What's the definition of bravery?
A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!
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How many dead babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
It depends on how hard you squeeze them.
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Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
A: "I feel like a kid again."
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3 bums were outside a bar.
The first one went in and asked for a fork.
The second one went in and also asked for a fork.
Then the third one went in and wanted a straw.
At this point, the bartender became curious.
"How come all your friends want forks and you want a straw?"
"Well," the bum said, "the dog threw up and the chunks are all gone."
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What's the warmest organ in a dead woman's body?
My dick.
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Prostitute 1: Tonight's my night I can smell c**k in the air.
Prostitute 2: Oh, sorry. I burped.
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Q: Why did Captain Kirk piss on the roof of the Enterprise?
A: To boldly go where no man has gone before.
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