My grandfather can no longer do the things he loved to do as a teenager.
Flying planes, bombing Germans...
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Q: What's faster than the speed of light?
A: A jew passing Germany.
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I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight.
It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
Why was the cannibal fined by the judge?
He was caught poaching.
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A Mexican and a nigga are riding in car.
Who's driving?
A cop!
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Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.
Too bad he has never cried.
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Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
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What's red and crawls up your leg?
A homesick miscarriage.
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This old man and woman were on a cruise and it was really stormy.
They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard.
They searched for days and couldn't find her so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something.
Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat it read: "Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her very most private part was an oyster and inside it was a pearl worth $50,000 ...please advise."
So the old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap..."
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Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation?
He said, "So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses."
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What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ?
A Pedophiles ass.
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