Joke #4819

My grandfather can no longer do the things he loved to do as a teenager. Flying planes, bombing Germans...

Q: What's the best thing about ISIS jokes? A: The execution.

What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ? A Pedophiles ass.

A guy has a bad habit: He loves to hit pedestrians while he drives. So one day he's driving andsees an old lady with a cane and he decides to control his urge to swerve and hit her but he can't. Later, he sees a kid skating and can't resist hitting the kid. Finally, he decides he needs help from above so he goes to a church and asks the pastor for help. So after church, the pastor invites him to his house for lunch. They get in the car and start to drive down the street, and just as he starts to tell the pastor about his problem, he sees an old blind man walking down the street. He swerves toward him but misses, and the pastor says, "Don't worry. I got him with the door!"

Q: What's the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? A: There are twenty of them.

One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow. He said he can't walk.

So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy "Hey mister its getting dark out and I'm scared." Man "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."

Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common? A: They aren't much to look at but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.

My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick. No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.

Knock Knock Whose there? 9/11 9/11 who? I thought you said you would never forget.

"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"