Joke #4819

My grandfather can no longer do the things he loved to do as a teenager. Flying planes, bombing Germans...
Vote: has 84.86 % from 106 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

And these kids do not deserve a present from me, because they have not been eating well this year, - said Santa Claus, flying over the starving kids in Sudan.
Vote: has 29.43 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ? One's composing, the other is decomposing.
Vote: has 50.16 % from 61 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, music
"I'm going to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. But it is just a formality." "Who told you that?" "Gynecologist."
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor
What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.
Vote: has 80.73 % from 138 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, music
A pretty lady is standing on the side of a bridge, looking over it and thinking about jumping off. A homeless alcoholic man comes up to her as he was walking nearby. The lady notices the man coming and says: "Go away! There's nothing you can say to me to change my mind, you cannot help me." "Well, if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why don't we have sex? At least I'll enjoy it" replies the man. "No way, you're disgusting, go away." The homeless man turns and starts walking away. The lady thinks: "Is that all you were going to say to me? Nothing more? Won't you try to convince me that life is worth living that I should not jump off? Where are you going?" The homeless man thinks: "I have to make it down to the bottom. If I hurry, you'll still be warm."
Vote: has 79.05 % from 219 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, black humor, disgusting, life, sex
Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a balanced meal.
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, food
Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes. Now it is the third man's turn. He asks for a fork. The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork. As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, "To hell with your canoes!"
Vote: has 80.93 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, family
What has more brains than a dead baby? The wall behind it.
Vote: has 60.61 % from 152 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, morbid
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
Vote: has 59.09 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, death, doctor, hospital
Death is God’s way of saying, ‘Hey, you’re not alive any more.’
Vote: has 45.48 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor