My grandfather can no longer do the things he loved to do as a teenager.
Flying planes, bombing Germans...
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Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.
"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad.
Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
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How long does it take a black lady to shit?
About 9 months.
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Q: What is the difference between a Jew and a boy scout?
A: the boy Scott gets to go home after camp.
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One step forward, 12 floors down.
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The only church which is disseminating light and warmth is the burning church.
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Q: What do black people smoke?
A: Niggerettes.
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An old couple is at a fair an the old man sees a helicopter ride for $50.
The old man asks his wife, "I don't have much time left. Can I take I ride in one of them helicopters?"
His wife responds, "Oh well that's way too expensive."
The man running the helicopter rides as a pilot hears their conversation and makes them a deal.
"Hey, I'll take you on a ride for free, but you can't make one sound. If you do, then you have to pay $50." says the pilot.
The couple climbs in the helicopter.
The pilot takes off and does awesome tricks with the helicopter.
The couple never made a sound.
The pilot lands the helicopter and says, "Wow, impressive, usually people make so much noise on these rides."
The old man says, "Well, I almost made a noise when my wife fell out of the helicopter, but these rides are too expensive."
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What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl?
Bring a dustpan to Auschwitz
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Q: Why doesn't Mexico have any teams competing in the Olympics?
A: Because all of the Mexicans that can run, swim, and jump have left the country.
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