One step forward, 12 floors down.
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Daddy to his son:
I don't care if you are dating a black girl - they are all pink on the inside.
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Q: Why did Hitler kill himself?
A: He saw his gas bill.
Q: What did Hitler get his granddaughter for her 5th birthday?
A: An easy bake oven.
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What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law?
There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
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A sadist, a masochist, a murderer, a necrophile, a zoophile and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution.
"Let's have sex with a cat?" asked the zoophile.
"Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it," says the sadist.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then kill it," shouted the murderer.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it and then have sex with it again," said the necrophile.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it, kill it, have sex with it again and then burn it," said the pyromaniac.
There was silence, and then the masochist said: "Meow."
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In order to help jump-start the U.S. economy, the INS has announced that this year they will stop focusing on illegal aliens, and begin the deportation of retired people.
It's predicted that this will not only help lower health care entitlement costs, but it turns out that retirees are much easier to catch.
Plus, they rarely can remember how to get back home.
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What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ?
One's composing, the other is decomposing.
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You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
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Q: Why does Michael Jackson like twenty five-year-olds?
A: Because there are twenty of them!
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall?
Art.
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