One step forward, 12 floors down.
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I had a mate who was suicidal.
He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.
He was chuffed to bits.
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Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors?
A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
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It is genetically pre-recorded in men’s brain to look for a women, which is alike his mother – said Mr. John to the judge at the court, where he was being blamed for raping his sister.
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Q: What's the difference between morbid and black humour?
A: Well, black humour is like 10 children in one rubbish bin, whereas morbid humour is like one child in 10 rubbish bins.
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What do an airport and a illegal abortion have in common?
The Hanger.
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Q: What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler?
A: Michael Phelps can finish a race.
What's red and dances all around?
A baby on a barbecue
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"If I could be someone for one day I would be Justin Beiber and run off a cliff"
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There are 3 men on a plane a Mexican an American and a Russian the Mexican says "I hate my country!"
And throughs a soup out the window the American says "I hate my country" and throughs a pie out the window.
The Russian says "I hate my country!"
And throughs a bomb out the window.
Then the plane lands and the Mexican sees a kid crying the Mexican says "what's wrong kid?"
The kid says "a soup fell on my mom's head and she burnt to death."
"I didn't do that" says the Mexican.
The American was walking and saw a kid crying "what's wrong kid?"
The kid says "my mom was driving and a pie fell on her windshield and drove off a cliff cause she couldn't see!"
"I didn't do that" says the American.
Then the Russian gets off the plane and saw a kid laughing his head off.
The Russian says "what's so funny?"
The kid says " daddy farted and the house went BOOM BOOM!"
Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall?
A: To see her crack.
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