A true gentleman holds the door for his woman... then smacks her ass as she walks by.
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What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1) No mind.
2) No business.
What is the difference between a man and childbirth?
One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.
Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across?
A: A double dirty crosser.
Camilla goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, whenever one sucks Charlie's cock one gets a stomach ache."
The doctor says "Have you tried Andrew's?"
John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary.
“Would you like a new Mink Coat?” he asks.
“Not really,” says Mary.
“Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John.
“No,” she responds.
“What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests.
She again rejects his offer with a, “No thanks.”
Frustrated he finally asks, “Well what would you like for your anniversary?”
“John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary.
John thinks for a moment and replies “Sorry dear, I wasn’t planning to spend that much.”
There was an ad in the newspaper:
An agriculturist looks for a woman with a tractor.
The photo of the tractor is required.
Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. So if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A. They don't have time.
Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.