A true gentleman holds the door for his woman... then smacks her ass as she walks by.
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Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra?
A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do better.
Q: Why was the blonde girl's belly button bruised?
A: Because blonde men are dumb too.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies," He responded.
"Oh, killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, three males, two females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell?
He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
A man is at the optometrist getting his eyes checked.
"You need to stop masturbating so much," the optometrist says.
"Why?" asks the man. "Is it going to make me go blind?"
The optometrist looks around and says "no, but it's making the other patients very uncomfortable."
Vote:
Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
Husband admiring his body in the mirror says to wife "look at that, 14 stones of pure dynamite !"
Wife replies "yeah, shame about the 2 inch fuse..."
Two men were talking about their wives.
First: "I'm a teacher whenever we are in bed my wife says repeat please."
Second: "I'm a driver when we are sexing she thinks I'm in a gas station so she screws my dick and says: 'fill it up super!'"