A true gentleman holds the door for his woman... then smacks her ass as she walks by.
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
Sex is when a guys communication, enters a girls information, to increase the population, for a younger generation, do you get the information... or do you need a demonstration.
How many men would it take to mop a floor? No one knows; they've never done it.
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes.
Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones.
What's the Australian Male's idea of foreplay? "Brace yourself, Sheila."
Diamonds are a girl's best friend. Dogs are man's best friend. So which is the dumber sex?
Why did the blonde have a sore belly button? Because there are blonde men too!
Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?" "Yeah," says the other cowboy. "Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction." Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon." "Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what colour they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!" The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."