Adam goes to God and says, "I would like a mate to please me and make living joyful. She should be beautiful and perfect in every way. God says, "I can do that, but it will cost you a testicle, a kidney, and one eye." To which Adam replied, "Well, what can I get for a rib?"
How can you tell soap operas are fictional? In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, "Hello. My name is Carmen." "That’s a beautiful name," he replied. "Is it a family name?" "No," she replied. "As a matter of fact I gave it to myself. It represents the things that I enjoy the most – cars and men. Therefore I chose 'Carmen'" "What’s your name?” she asked. He answered "B. J. Titsengolf."
What is the difference between a man and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
The Perfect Man: - wakes up at 5 am everyday - exercises everyday - makes his own bed - cleans his room - works sincerely - does not touch alcohol - helps in the kitchen - does not indulge in night life - always punctual - prays daily - hits the bed at 9 pm sharp Such a perfect man can only be found in jail.
Men are like......Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are
Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom? To keep the swelling down.
What did God say after creating man? I can do so much better.
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something."
Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve? A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.