During preseason training, a college football lineman married one of the team's cheerleaders. The coach was a bit surprised and remarked to his star football player, "You are such a big, burley guy. Why in the world did you marry such a tiny, petite woman? She is no bigger than your hand." "That's right, Coach," replied the lineman. "But, she's much better!"
Why can't girls play hockey? Because their pads can't last three periods.
The Winter Olympics. Letting white people win at sports no one else can afford to learn.
What's the difference between David Beckham and an airplane model kit? One's a glueless kit and the other's a clueless git!
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
Chuck Norris sky dives without a parachute.
Q: Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet? A: Because they can't stop saving their work.
There was a terrible tragedy concerning the local ice hockey team. They drowned during spring training.
It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. "No" says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Stanley Cup and not use it?" The neighbor says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. That's terrible... But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No,” he says. “They're all at the funeral."
Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married? A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
Q. Why do golfers carry two pairs of trousers with them? A. Just in case they get a hole in one.