Joke #5463

Old mathematicians never die - they just lose some of their functions.
Vote:
has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: math

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A man started to town with a fox, a goose, and a sack of corn. He came to a stream which he had to cross in a tiny boat. He could only take one across at a time. He could not leave the fox alone with the goose or the goose alone with the corn. How did he get them all safely over the stream? He took the goose over first and came back. Then he took the fox across and brought the goose back. Next he took the corn over. He came back alone and took the goose.
Vote:
has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, math
There are three kinds of accountants in the world. Those who can count and those who can't.
Vote:
has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math, work
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
Vote:
has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math
Maths is like s*x... ADD the bed MINUS the clothes DIVIDE the legs and pray you don't MULTIPLY.
Vote:
has 62.97 % from 215 votes. More jokes about: math, sex
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
Vote:
has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, math
Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first man, "What is three times three?" "274," was his reply. The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?" "Tuesday," replies the second man. The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?" "Nine," says the third man. "That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?" "Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."
Vote:
has 71.72 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: doctor, math, old people
Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children? A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
Vote:
has 65.83 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: math
Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?" Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
Vote:
has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: fish, food, health, little Johnny, math
Little Johnny was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the called Little Johnny's teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in class?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which is four."
Vote:
has 83.19 % from 710 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher, work
Two statisticians go bird hunting. The first one fires at the bird but overshoots by 5 feet. The second one fires and undershoots the bird by 5 feet. They both give each other a high-five and say "Got it!"
Vote:
has 69.41 % from 209 votes. More jokes about: math