Joke #5463

Old mathematicians never die - they just lose some of their functions.
Vote: has 52.63 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have? Plenty of milk.
Vote: has 67.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, math
A guy is flying in a hot air balloon and he's lost. So he lowers himself over a field and shouts to a guy on the ground:"Can you tell me where I am, and which way I'm headed?" "Sure! You're at 43 degrees, 12 minutes, 21.2 seconds north; 123 degrees, 8 minutes, 12.8 seconds west. You're at 212 meters above sea level. Right now, you're hovering, but on your way in here you were at a speed of 1.83 meters per second at 1.929 radians" "Thanks! By the way, are you a statistician?" "I am! But how did you know?" "Everything you've told me is completely accurate; you gave me more detail than I needed, and you told me in such a way that it's no use to me at all!" "Dang! By the way, are you a principal investigator?" "Geeze! How'd you know that?" "You don't know where you are, you don't know where you're going. You got where you are by blowing hot air, you start asking questions after you get into trouble, and you're in exactly the same spot you were a few minutes ago, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"
Vote: has 71.09 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math
What did one math book say to the other math book? "I don't know about you man, but I got a lot of problems!"
Vote: has 56.50 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Vote: has 51.61 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.
Vote: has 51.27 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math
Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself? A: Because nobody understood him.
Vote: has 58.65 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, math
There was a statistician that drowned crossing a river... It was 3 feet deep on average.
Vote: has 66.43 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math
What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass? Beer.
Vote: has 72.18 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, geek, math
Three statisticians go out hunting together. After a while they spot a solitary rabbit. The first statistician takes aim and overshoots. The second aims and undershoots. The third shouts out "We got him!"
Vote: has 53.62 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math
A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied. The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde." The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?" "No, it's because you're 25."
Vote: has 35.28 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, blonde, math, school