Joke #5463

Old mathematicians never die - they just lose some of their functions.
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has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: math

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A teacher asked a student to write 55. Student asked: How? Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5! The student wrote 5 and stopped. Teacher: What are you waiting for? Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
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Q: What did one math book say to the other? A: Don't bother me I've got my own problems!
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Teacher: "Who knows 5+5=?" Little Johnny: "11" Teacher: "Take out your hand from trousers pocket and count with your fingers."
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So Descartes goes into a bar late one night for a beer. At closing time, the bartender makes Last Call and asks him, "Get you another?" Descartes replies, "I think not." And disappears.
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Once a teacher asked one of her students to memorize the numbers from 1-10. And that night when he was memorizing he saw his mother drinking 7up, so the next day the teacher asked the student to say the numbers that he memorized so he replied," 1-2-3-4-5-6-8-9-10". The teacher was confused so she asked the student," Where is the 7" so he said," my mom drank it last night!"
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Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
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There are three kinds of accountants in the world. Those who can count and those who can't.
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Little Johnny was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the called Little Johnny's teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in class?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which is four."
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What happened to the plant in math class? It grew square roots.
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