Joke #3279

What is the difference between a man and childbirth? One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men

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Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together. One man says, "I'm a salesman. What about you?" "I'm a hit man for the mob," replies the second man. He pulls out a high powered rifle loaded with scopes and sights. He then asks the man where he lives. Nervously, the first man replies, "In a subdivision just west of here. Gray roof, yellow siding." "You got a silver compact and a red pickup?" "The compact is my wife's car, but that's my buddy Jeff's truck." The hit man looks through the scope again. "Well, they're going at it like teenagers in your bedroom." "I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot him in the balls." The hit man says, "I get paid $5,000 per shot." "I don't care! Just do it!" The hit man takes careful aim and says, "This is your lucky day. You're going to get a two for one!"
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: car, golf, men, money, wife
What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A rumor.
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has 73.89 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: men
Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, men, women
One day Dan asks Bob, "So Bob what did you get for Christmas?" Then Bob says to Dan, "Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?" Dan says, "OOOOH WOW! Bob says, "Ya, I got the same exact color tie!"
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men
What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: men, women
Question: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? Answer: When she starts her sentence with, “A man once told me…”
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has 75.20 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: men, women
One man (lets call him Johnny) came to gun shop. J(ohnny):I want a pistol S(alesman):Choose from this wall (points at wall full of pistols) J: (points at biggest pistol) I want this, S: An .44 Magnum? And for what purpose? J: For shooting cans. S: (points on smaller handgun) For shooting cans is the best this one. J: (points again on .44) No, I want this one. S: And what cans will you shoot at? J: Um...Mexi-cans, Portori-cans, Afri-cans...
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: men
What should you give a man who has everything? A. A woman to show him how to work it. B. Penicillin.
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has 24.11 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men, women, work
What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? Any place without a drive-up window.
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: men
A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they undressed for bed, the husband, who was a big burly man, tossed his pants to his bride and said, "here put these on." She put them on, and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can’t wear your pants," she said. "That’s right!" said the husband, "and don’t you forget it. I’m the man who wears the pants in this family!" With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. He said, "Hell, I can’t get into your panties!" She said, "That’s right, and that’s the way it’s going to be until you change your attitude…"
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has 83.83 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: couple, holiday, men, wedding