What is the difference between a man and childbirth?
One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.
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How are men and parking spots alike?
The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.
Why don't men often show their true feelings?
Because they don't have any.
Camilla goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, whenever one sucks Charlie's cock one gets a stomach ache."
The doctor says "Have you tried Andrew's?"
What is a man's idea of helping with housework?
Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.
Men are like.....Government bonds.
They take so long to mature.
Men are like a fine wine.
They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd want to have dinner with.
How to Impress a Woman:
compliment her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
listen to her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her.
How to Impress a Man:
show up naked,
bring beer.
Q: Why did God create Adam before he created eve?
A: Because he didn't want anyone telling him how to make Adam.
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship?
Telling you his real name.
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