Joke #3279

What is the difference between a man and childbirth? One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.
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has 30.41 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men

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How can you tell if a man is aroused? He's breathing.
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Chinese and American are in a plane. Suddenly, Chinese puts his shoes off and American is angry. After some time, he goes to buy a coke, but Chinese says that he'll do it. While he's gone, American spits into his shoes. Chinese gets back and American drinks his coke. That repeats a couple of times,and after the flight American admits, "I spitted in your shoes, sorry." Chinese answers, "That's how we do it. We spit in each others shoes, we piss into each others cokes..."
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After spending 20 minutes trying to get my wife's bra off, I decided to give up, I wish I'd never put it on now.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: men, wife
A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
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has 80.85 % from 333 votes. More jokes about: age, men, ugly
How to Impress a Woman: compliment her, kiss her, caress her, love her, comfort her, protect her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, listen to her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her. How to Impress a Man: show up naked, bring beer.
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has 64.93 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: beer, love, men, romantic, women
How do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
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has 26.98 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
A man and his ever nagging wife were on holiday in Jerusalem, when the wife suddenly died. The funeral company told the man that it would cost 45000 to ship her home or $500 to bury her in Jerusalem. The husband said "ship her home". Shocked, the undertaker asked "but sir, why don't you bury her in the Holy Land and save the money ?" The husband replied "a long time ago, a man was buried here and 3 days later, he rose from the dead ... I cant take the chance !"
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has 78.47 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: death, holiday, men, money, wife
What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted.
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has 59.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: men
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: men
A classic Tommy Cooper gag "I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays", was fifth.
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has 13.47 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: gym, men, teacher, time