Joke #3279

What is the difference between a man and childbirth? One can be terribly painful and sometimes almost unbearable while the other is just having a baby.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: men

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Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son? Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
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A man is in a mall and sees a clothes store. He sees a magnificent, brand new jacket in the shop window and decides he shall try it on and buy it. So he walks into the shop and asks an employee: "Excuse me sir." "How can I help you" the employee replies. "Could I by any chance try on that jacket in your shop window?" The employee looks at him and says "No you shall not you are to try it on in the changing rooms like everybody else!"
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Men are like.....Bank Machines. Once they withdraw they lose interest.
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Men are born between the legs of women and spend all their life trying to get back between them. Why? Theres no place like home ...
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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
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has 16.20 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: desert island, friendship, genie, men
(A) You are not Tom Cruise, (B) The guns may stop working at the last moment, (C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you, (D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf (E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!"
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"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, men
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labour and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!" The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room. About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith’s wife has just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company." The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air." The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."
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has 77.95 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: dad, hospital, men, nurse, wife
He: Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way. She: Well, you succeeded.
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Men are like.....Government bonds. They take so long to mature.
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has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: men