Life is too short to remove USB safely.
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire. The three men try to solve the problem. The project manager said: "Let's catch a cab and in ten minutes we'll reach our destination." The computer programmer said: "We have here the driver's guide. I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive." The computer operator said: "First of all, let's turn off the engine and turn it on again. Maybe it will fix the problem." Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said: "Try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again."
Q: 0 is false and 1 is true, right? A: 1.
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
The box said "Requires Windows Vista or better". So I installed LINUX.
While my brother-in-law was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him. Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family: "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!" "What is it?" her sisters asked eagerly. Proudly she replied: "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.
Q: What did the dentist say to the computer? A: This won't hurt a byte
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 mi/gal." Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement: "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"
What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman? "Immediately start downloading it."