Once a programmer drowned in the sea.
Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.
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A press release:
"Yesterday, for the first time a hacker was convicted of network penetration and went to jail to serve a 12 years sentence. According to the data of the central computer of the police, the hacker goes to liberty the day after tomorrow because of expiration of the sentence."
Customer: “I can’t seem to connect to the Internet.”
Tech Support: “Ah, right. What operating system are you running?”
Customer: “Netscape.”
Tech Support: “No, what version of Windows are you using?”
Customer: “Uhhh…Hewlett Packard?”
Tech Support: “No, Right click on ‘My Computer,’ and select properties on the menu.”
Customer: “Your computer? It’s my computer!”
Much like Apple products, I also, am only compatible with myself.
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Having been erased, The document you’re seeking Must now be retyped.
How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day?
Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
Yo mama's so fat when she made a YouTube account the entire network crashed.
Programmer.
A machine that turns coffee into code.
How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Yes.
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