Once a programmer drowned in the sea.
Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.
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Q: Which Bible character had no parents?
A: Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
Why did the computer get cold?
Because it forgot to close windows.
Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in a vivid display, an angelic chorus pouring from the speakers.
Satan is astonished, ‘How did he manage that?’
God replies, ‘You might have lost everything, but Jesus saves.’
Chuck Norris can access private methods.
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Two computers in the same LAN chatting one night:
PC1: I was having a nightmare last night, it was so horrible.
PC2: Why, what did you dream about ?
PC1: I was sleeping, dreaming 0 1 1 0 1 0 0 0 1 0 when all of a sudden a 2 popped up!
I would actually use Siri if the voice sounded like Morgan Freeman.
My attitude isn't bad.
It's in beta.
How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Are you kidding?
That’s a hardware problem!
What do you call a computer that takes 15 minutes to start, freezes if you try to do more than one thing at a time, crashes regularly and causes you to swear under your breath throughout the day?
Cutting edge.