Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.
A tourist was drowning in the sea: Help! Help! He screams. Very calm the fisherman says: Press F1 already and stop screaming. You’re scaring the fishes away.
"Knock, knock.Who's there?" very long pause... "Java."
Q: How do you fix a broken website? A: With stick e-tape.
What do you call a bent iPhone 6 plus? A dead wringer.
What do you get if you cross a computer and a policeman? PC Plod.
Bill Gates was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. Bill Gates looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"
Computers are like air conditioners. They work fine until you start opening windows.
An internet maniac boy asks his father: Daddy, why do we have five fingers if the mouse has only two buttons?
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.