Once a programmer drowned in the sea.
Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.
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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
Three.
One to change it, and two to complain about how bad GE's customer support is.
Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.
The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."
The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."
The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."
The fourth surgeon said, "I like technicians...they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end..."
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
The extra RAM slots have tractor parts stored in them.
"Have you got the address of the butter website?"
"Yes, but don't spread it around."
Vote:
Customer: “I can’t seem to connect to the Internet.”
Tech Support: “Ah, right. What operating system are you running?”
Customer: “Netscape.”
Tech Support: “No, what version of Windows are you using?”
Customer: “Uhhh…Hewlett Packard?”
Tech Support: “No, Right click on ‘My Computer,’ and select properties on the menu.”
Customer: “Your computer? It’s my computer!”
A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire.
The three men try to solve the problem.
The project manager said: "Let's catch a cab and in ten minutes we'll reach our destination."
The computer programmer said: "We have here the driver's guide.
I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive."
The computer operator said: "First of all, let's turn off the engine and turn it on again.
Maybe it will fix the problem."
Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said: "Try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again."
I’ve invented a human computer.
When he does a mistake he blames another computer.
Which way did the programmer go?
He went data way!