Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
Wikipedia: I know everything! Google: I have everything! Facebook: I know everybody! Internet: Without me you are nothing! Electricity: Keep talking bitches!
It was reported this week that Google would soon launch its own cellphone as a challenge to the iPhone. Also a challenge to the iPhone? Making phone calls.
Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store? A: Somebody told him he was ripped!
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
What do you get if you cross a computer with a herb? A thyme machine.
What do you get if you cross an iPhone and a fridge? Cool music.
God called a meeting of George Bush, Tony Blair and Bill Gates. ‘I’ve given you all the tools you needed to make a better world,’ says God. ‘But you’ve failed and I’m ending the world in two weeks.’ Bush goes on TV and says, ‘I have good news and bad news. The good news is that God exists. The bad news is that the world will end in two weeks.’ Tony Blair says, ‘I have bad news and really bad news. The bad news is that God is really annoyed. The really bad news is he’s going to destroy us.’ Bill Gates calls his workers together and says, ‘I have good news and great news. The good news is that God thinks I’m one of the three most powerful people in the world. The great news is that we don’t have to fix the bugs in the new Windows package.’
Two geeks are talking over lunch. The first guy says, "You wouldn't believe what happened this morning. A girl rode up to me on her bike, took off all her clothes, and said 'Take whatever you want!' … So I took the bike" The second guy says, "Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
Someday, the people who know how to use computers will rule over those who don’t. And there will be a special name for them – secretaries.