How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Are you kidding?
That’s a hardware problem! 
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When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.
A life? Cool… Where can I download one of those?
How many service technicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, and he does it very well, but there is that $85 non-refundable on-site service fee to consider
Once a programmer drowned in the sea.
Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.
What do you get when you cross an apple with a nun?
A computer that won’t go down.
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
How can you tell which one of your friends has the new iPhone 6 plus?
Don't worry, they'll let you know.
Vote:
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
Vote:
Caller: Oh, no, it’s just the stupid, stupid design of this computer.
Every time I want to click something, I have to unplug the keyboard to plug in the mouse.
And then every time I want to use the keyboard again, I have to unplug the mouse.
Because there’s only one jack.
Agent: Ma’am, you do realize that there’s a jack on the keyboard itself?
You’re supposed to plug the mouse into the keyboard, and the keyboard into the computer.
Caller: Are you kidding me!?
Oh, wait a minute—yes, I see it now! Oh, holy cow.
That’s going to be so much easier!
Agent: Just out of curiosity, how long have you been using your computer that way?
Caller: Six weeks!