Joke #2905

How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Are you kidding? That’s a hardware problem!
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: IT

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If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I'd antialias my graphics!
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has 67.81 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, geek, IT, technology
Our staff has completed the 3 years of work on time and under budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect the following new standards: Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December and... Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y-to-K problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible.And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00? We await your direction.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: IT, management, money, time
When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
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has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: IT, programmer
Bill Gates, Andy Grove, and Jerry Sanders (CEOs of MicroSoft, Intel, and AMD) were in a high-powered business meeting. During the serious, tense discussion, a beeping noise suddenly is emitted from where Bill is sitting. Bill says, “Oh, that’s my beeper. Gentlemen, excuse me, I need to take this call.” So Bill lifts his wristwatch to his ear and begins talking into the end of his tie. After completing this call, he notices the others are staring at him. Bill explains, “Oh, this is my new emergency communication system. I have an earpiece built into my watch and a microphone sewn into the end of my tie. That way I can take a call anywhere.” The others nod and the meeting continues. Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Andy starts beeping. He states, “Excuse me gentlemen, this must be an important call.” So Andy taps his earlobe and begins talking into thin air. When he completes his call, he notices the others staring at him and explains, “I also have an emergency communication system. But my earpiece is actually implanted in my earlobe, and the microphone is actually embedded in this fake tooth.” The others nod, and the meeting continues. Five minutes later, the discussion is again interrupted when Jerry emits a thunderous fart. He looks up at the others staring at him and says, “Somebody get me a piece of paper… I’m receiving a FAX."
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has 68.89 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: business, celebrity, fart, IT, phone
Q: What did the dentist say to the computer? A: This won't hurt a byte
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: computer, dentist, geek, IT
Bill Gates is judged for bigamy. He says: If you live with two women’s it does not mean bigamy, it means multitasking.
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E-mail returned to sender, insufficient voltage.
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Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?
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Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…
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Q: How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb? A: We can see no need for uninstallation and have therefore made no provision for light bulbs to be removed.
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has 68.80 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: geek, IT, light bulb, management, technology