How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Are you kidding?
That’s a hardware problem! 
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Install the Blue Screen of Death screen-saver on someone's computer.
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A system administrator has 2 problems:
- dumb users
- smart users
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How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Yes.
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To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the IT professional, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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The box said "Requires Windows Vista or better".
So I installed LINUX.
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application?
Your iphone will keep crashing!
Q: How many Object Oriented programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they send it a message, and it changes itself.
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Warning!
User Error.
Kindly replace user and press a key to continue.
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The 21st century: Deleting history is more important than making it.
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Q: My shift keys have little arrows on them. Does that mean the *real* shift keys are located above them, and these keys are just little signs to point them out?
A: Nope, they're the Real McCoy.
The little arrows mean "up", as in "look up at the screen".
Your keyboard is telling you to learn to touch type and quit staring at your fingers.