How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Are you kidding? That’s a hardware problem!
Q: How many Object Oriented programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they send it a message, and it changes itself.
Having been erased, The document you’re seeking Must now be retyped.
How do insects communicate? By bee mail.
Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea. Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
Install the Blue Screen of Death screen-saver on someone's computer.
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who have regular sex.
A Man from the toilet shouts to his wife : Darling, darling, do you hear me?!!!! What happened, did you run out of toilet paper? No, restart the router, please!
Q: What do you call a computer expert? A: A control-alt-elite.
A computer programmer has been missing from work for over a week. Finally someone notices and calls the police. They break down the door of his flat where they find him dead in the shower, an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body. The programmer seems to have died from a combination of exposure and exhaustion. The puzzle is explained when the police read the instructions on the shampoo bottle – ‘Wet hair. Apply shampoo. Rinse. Repeat.’
What do you get if you cross a computer with a herb? A thyme machine.