A total naked woman rushed in a taxi.
The taxi driver turned back and stared at her so keenly.
The woman asked the taxi driver, "Why are you staring at me that way, haven't you ever seen a naked woman?"
The taxi driver replied, "No, I just wonder where you have my money."
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My girlfriend came out of the shower and said, "I shaved my pussy you know what that means?"
I said, "Yeah the fucking drain is clogged again."
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man.
But hell does that burn!
How do lesbians handle their liquor?
By the ears.
(Lick her)
You see, masturbation is so unpredictable.
I just go up and down.
Vote:
Q: What did one tampon say to the other?
A: Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches.
I saw a sign in a public toilet the other day.
It said "Please leave this toilet in the condition that you would have liked to have found it in."
So I left it with a porn mag and a line of coke ...
Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Testicules.
Testicules who?
Pillow for penis .
Vote:
There was a guy and he went to the doctor and he showed the doctor his dick.
He asked why it was orange and the doctor replyed:
Have you been doing anything unusual?
And he said: No.
So the doctor ran so tests then he sent the guy home told him to come back in 2 weeks.
So he did and it was even oranger so once again the doctor asked:
Have you been doing anything at all unusual?
And the guy said:
Well about 2 weeks ago I was watching porno and eating a bag of crunchy cheetos.