Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
Who's the biggest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.
To finally solve whether Mona-Lisa is smiling or not, Chuck Norris took a quick look at it. She's crying
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
Chuck Norris grabs Donald Trump by the pussy.
Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet? A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
“The Day the Earth Stood Still” is based off the one day in Earth’s history when Chuck Norris slept.
Before the 16th century, the sun really did go around the earth. Chuck Norris just decided to change it as a prank.
The answer to all the questions on your history test tomorrow is Chuck Norris.