There was blonde who wanted to go on a diet. She went to the doctor and asked for his advice. He said that she was going to go on a diet for three days. "Eat anything and everything you want for the first two days of your diet. Then skip the third day." So the blonde went home and ate anything and everything she wanted for the first two days, then she skipped the third day. The next day she went back to the doctor and he asked her, "How is your diet?" She said, "Well, the first two days were easy but that third day was hard. Doing all that skipping made me really tired."
Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory? A: For throwing out the W's
Why did the blonde stand in front of the mirror with her eyes closed? She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity? A: The crayons are still sticky.
A blonde, who had just dyed her hair, went to the hospital because her whole body hurt. She told the doctor that where ever she touched herself it would hurt. The doctor told her to demonstrate. She touched her nose and it hurt. She touched her stomach and it hurt. The doctor asked her if she was a blonde and she said yes. "Look Here Lady, your finger is broken!"
How do you get a blonde to marry you? Tell her she’s pregnant.
Did you hear about the blonde who went to a library and checked out a book called How to Hug? She got it home and found it was volume seven of the encyclopaedia.
She is so blonde, she studied for a blood test.
A blonde comes to a doctor and complains: Doc, please help: when I touch my head - it hurts, when I touch my belly - it hurts, when I touch my leg - it hurts... I know what has happened to you. And what? You've broken your finger.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
A blonde girl walks in the street and sees a banana peel. Sad she was, thinking...damn I will stumble again...!