Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts? Guilt gifts are nicer.
John was in trouble, really big trouble. You see, he forgot his wedding anniversary and, if you're married, you can imagine what he's probably going through. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!" She was serious too, so John got serious. The next morning he woke up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped, right there in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife threw her robe on and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house and opened in with much anticipation. Inside she found a brand new bathroom scale. John has been missing since Thursday.
If you catch a man…throw him back.
An advertisement: I change 40-year-old wife to two 20-years-old ones. Do not offer four 10-year-old ones.
Q: How many men does it take to put down a toilet seat? A: Who knows it's never been done.
Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man. This confirms too, that women are always confused and don't know what they want.
Definition of a man with manners – he gets out of the bath to pee.
Men are like.....Bank Machines. Once they withdraw they lose interest.
What's the difference between an intelligent man and a UFO? I don't know, I've never seen either one.