Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A.So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.
Q. What do you call a sensitive, intelligent man? A. An oxymoron.
Men are like.....Commercials. You can't believe a word they say
Q: Why do men like blonde jokes? A: Because they can understand them.
Question: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? Answer: When she starts her sentence with, “A man once told me…”
What is a man's definition of safe sex? A padded headboard.
If women knew what men were really thinking, they'd never stop slapping them.
What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name.
A priest and a shepherd from Australia participate in a TV game. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". It is city in Africa. The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration: "I was a father all my life, I had no children, had no wife, I read the bible through and through on my way to Timbuktu ... " The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his winning masterpiece: "When Tim and I to Brisbane went We met three women cheap to rent. They were three and we were two, So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "
Men are like buses. One comes every 15 minutes.