Why is there always hot water at childbirth? In case of a stillbirth, soup.
Some people just need a hug… Around the neck… with a rope.
Q: How many Ethiopians can you fit into a telephone booth? A: All of them.
You might be a redneck if the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.
What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl? Bring a dustpan to Auschwitz
Q: What is the difference between baby and knitting? A: Knitting is weaved by two needles and one ball, but the baby has been made with one needle and two balls!
My aunt died, God bless her, at a ripe old age of 104. We called her Aunt Tique.
Q: Why doesn't Mexico have any teams competing in the Olympics? A: Because all of the Mexicans that can run, swim, and jump have left the country.
A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? An invalid.
Q: What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a painting of Jesus Christ? A: It only takes one nail to hang a painting.