Joke #5133

Why is there always hot water at childbirth? In case of a stillbirth, soup.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: black humor

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Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
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has 57.08 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, dad, death, dog
Q: How do you know if a girl is pregnant? A: Shove a tampon and see if all of the cotton is picked.
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, women
At the doctors office: Doc: "Unfortunately sir, you have only 1 week to live…" Man: "Doctor what on earth are you saying?”, clearly chocked, “Tell me what can I do to live at least a little linger, please…" Doc: "Do you eat fried food?" Man: "Yes" Doc: "You must stop!" Man: "If it’s so that I live more… ill do it" Doc: "Do you eat fat food?" Man: "Yes" Doc: "You must stop!" Man: "If it’s so that I live more… ok doc" Doc: "Do you stay up late?" Man: "Yes" Doc: "You must stop!" Man: "If it’s so that I live more… ok" Doc: "Do you have sex often?" Man: "Yes! Doc: "You must stop!" Man: "If it’s so that I live more… I’ll do that too" Doc: "Do you smoke?" Man: "Yes" Doc: "You must stop!" Man: "If it’s so that I live more… I will" Doc: "Do you drink?" Man: "Yes..." Doc: "You must stop!" Man: "OK doctor, but you didn’t tell me, if I do all the things you told me, how longer will I live?" Doc: "You will still live for a week… but it will seem like a century…"
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has 77.71 % from 383 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, life, sex
Why did the Scottish cannibal live on a sugar plantation? He said, "So that I can feed my lads with m'lasses."
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: black humor, food
While we were working at a men's clothing store, a customer asked my coworker to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband's blue eyes stand out. "Ma'am," he explained, "any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough."
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has 76.68 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: beauty, black humor, customer service, death, work
Q: How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne? A: It's when the blind try to read your face.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, ugly
What's white and bobs up and down in a baby's crib ? A Pedophiles ass.
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has 50.61 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."
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has 77.97 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.
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has 28.82 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Granny congratulates Johny to his birthday and tells him: "May you live so many years, how many steps you made to the church during these years!" Suddenly appears the Death and tells Johny: "Have you heard your Granny's wish? So, pack up your suitcases, tomorrow you'll finally go with me, mac! Those 4 steps will not save ya!"
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has 43.55 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black humor, death, little Johnny, time