Why is there always hot water at childbirth?
In case of a stillbirth, soup.
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John Leslie has been accused of raping a disabled black girl on Blue Peter.
He blamed it on dyslexia & said he thought the script said, use sticky black spastic.
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Q: How do you kill 1000 Jews at once?
A: Throw a dollar off a cliff.
Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family.
"I just can't stand my mother-in-law," sighs one.
"That's quite understandable," nods the other one, "why don't you just have the potatoes with the gravy?"
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Joke has 71.64 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, food, mother in law, Thanksgiving
First Cannibal: "Who was that girl I saw you with last night?"
Second Cannibal: "That was no girl, that was my supper."
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Knock knock.
Who's there?
Allahu Akbar.
Allahu AK-
BOOM!!!
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The judge asks the murderer:
Why did you kill that old lady?
For money..
But you got only 20 cents
Yes, but killing five of them would already make a dollar.
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What's the difference betwee Elton John and Princess Diana ?
One's composing, the other is decomposing.
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Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball.
Abe turns to Sol and asks, "Do you think there's baseball in Heaven?"
Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno.
But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."
They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on.
Soon afterward, Sol sits in the park feeding the pigeons by himself and hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol... ."
Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"
"Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.
Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in Heaven?"
"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."
"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.
Abe says, "Well, there is baseball in Heaven."
Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?"
Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."
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After a long labour, a doctor approaches the new mother and says, "Ma'am, I've got some good news, and some bad news. What would you like?"
After quickly thinking it over, she responds, "I'll have the bad news first doctor".
The doctor replies, "We'll, I'm not sure how to put this, and I'm sorry to have to tell you, your child has red hair".
Relieved, a smile spreads across the mother face. "Doctor, if that's the bad news, what's the good news".
The doctor replies, "He's dead".
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