What does a skeleton say when he wants to eat?
Bone appetit!
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Q: What is the point of Jewish football?
A: To get the quarter back
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One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor:
- Help me, please. I have a knife in my back.
The doctor, looking his watch says:
- Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you.
Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8.
- But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now.
The doctor, angrily says:
- I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you.
You must pass here tomorrow.
- But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead.
Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back.
The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye.
- Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
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Anal sex is like your first car - you dont really want it, but your dad gave it to you anyways.
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What do you do if an epileptic falls in your pool?
Throw in your laundry.
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Funeral jokes are the best - they never die...
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Q: Whats worse then a barrel of dead babies?
A: There is one at the bottom that is still alive.
Q: Whats worse then that?
A: He has to eat his way out.
Q: Whats worse then that?
A: He goes back for more.
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I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today.
I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
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What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
None!
They both hang from trees.
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Q: Why did Hitler kill himself?
A: He saw his gas bill.
How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day?
You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a bouquet of roses up his ass.
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Joke has 22.40 % from 182 votes. More jokes about: black humor, chocolate, dead baby, morbid, Valentines day