Joke #6788

What does a skeleton say when he wants to eat? Bone appetit!

My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.

Chuck Norris has travelled many places and seen many faces. So too has his boot.

Seven friends once pulled this at my college cafeteria. One put a hot water bottle filled with pea soup down his chest; he sat at the head of a table, with the other six friends sitting along the sides. When the cafeteria was pretty full of people, he made a loud noise (to attract attention), stood up, bent over and squeezed his chest. This caused a huge gush of green liquid to spew all over the table; the other six immediately began to eat this green liquid. I think a lot of food went uneaten that night.

I'll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon. I mean – you've got a gun, haven't you?

I gas the only problem I have with the wold now is all the deutchbags.

Q: How do you kill 1000 Jews at once? A: Throw a dollar off a cliff.

Came out the gym the other day and cop asked me how I got that body. I said, "I don't know officer, I just opened the trunk and there she was"

What do you call a baby on a stick? A Kebabie.

I'm so broke, I don't even get excited when I find money because I'm sure I owe it to someone.

Someone going to work sees a crowd of people walking. Looking at the beginning of course, he sees a coffin behind a gentleman with a little dog followed by the crowd. Approaching the owner and he asks him: "What happened here, man?" "Pff, my mother-in-law died," he said. "Hush how sad eh… And, if allowed, how?" "My dog bit her…" "You don't tell me! Could you lend him to me just for tonight?" "Get in line!"