What does a skeleton say when he wants to eat? Bone appetit!
Q: How do you kill 1000 Jews at once? A: Throw a dollar off a cliff.
While examining the the body of Mr. Schwartz, a mortician notices that Schwartz has the largest penis he has ever seen. "I'm sorry, Mr. Schwartz," says the mortician, "But I can't send you to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity." The mortician removes the penis, places it in a jar and puts the jar in his briefcase. When he gets home, he decides to show it to his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he says, removing the jar from his briefcase. "Oh my God!" she screams, "Schwartz is dead!"
Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."
Q: Did you hear the joke about an Earthquake and Japanese nuclear reactor? A: Not cool.
Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion? "Ask your sister" "I don't have a..."
Black humour is like a pair of legs. Not everyone has it.
A woman is speaking to her friend, ‘My husband has got one foot in the grate.’ ‘Don’t you mean one foot in the “grave”?’ says the friend. ‘No,’ replies the woman. ‘He wants to be cremated.’
Q: Why aren't there more famous skeletons? A: They're a bunch of no bodies!
How did the dentist become a brain surgeon? His hand slipped.