What does a skeleton say when he wants to eat?
Bone appetit!
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A few days after her husband's death, a grieving widow accidentally receives an e-mail from a man waiting for his wife in Miami.
The e-mail reads:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in.
Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
P.S. Sure is hot down here.
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How did they know that the driver had dandruff?
They found his head and shoulders in the glove box.
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First Cannibal: "Have you seen the dentist?"
Second Cannibal: "Yes, he filled my teeth at dinner time."
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What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf?
He became a vegetarian.
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A pretty lady is standing on the side of a bridge, looking over it and thinking about jumping off.
A homeless alcoholic man comes up to her as he was walking nearby.
The lady notices the man coming and says: "Go away! There's nothing you can say to me to change my mind, you cannot help me."
"Well, if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why don't we have sex? At least I'll enjoy it" replies the man.
"No way, you're disgusting, go away."
The homeless man turns and starts walking away.
The lady thinks: "Is that all you were going to say to me? Nothing more? Won't you try to convince me that life is worth living that I should not jump off? Where are you going?"
The homeless man thinks: "I have to make it down to the bottom. If I hurry, you'll still be warm."
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Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'?
- Because black people have no rights..
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After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years.
But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
What rule could stop HIV in Africa?
Sex after dinner only.
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I was walking down the street to a video store last night to rent a porno movie when I saw a woman being raped.
Saved myself a fiver.
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