Joke #3444

How is a man like a microwave oven? Just another thing that heats up instantly and goes off in twenty seconds.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: men

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A doctor says to his patient, "I have bad news and worse news." "Oh dear, what's the bad news?" asks the patient. The doctor replies, "You only have 24 hours to live." "That's terrible," said the patient. "How can the news possibly be worse?" The doctor replies, "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."
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has 72.95 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: men
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.
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has 24.26 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: men
Mum: "How would you describe me?" Dad: "ABCDEFGHIJK" Mum: "What does that mean?" Dad: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, funny, graceful, helpful, intelligent." Mum: "What about JK?" Dad: "Just Kidding."
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has 79.27 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, women
Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: doctor, men
Q: How can you tell when a man is dead? A: He stays stiff for more than two minutes.
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has 27.32 % from 5 votes. More jokes about: men
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spending all his wages. When he finally got home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife. After two hours, she stopped nagging and said, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" He replied, "That would be fine with me." Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Thursday, the swelling went down just enough for him to see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
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has 79.80 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: men
Two friends meet each other on the street.”Hello! Where are you coming from?” asked Bill.” Oh, don’t ask me! I’m coming from the cemetery. I just buried my mother-in-law” replied Sid. ”I’m so sorry!” said Bill, “But why is your face scratched all over?”. ”It wasn’t so easy!” said Sid, “She put on a hell of a fight!”
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has 77.52 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: death, men
Definition of a man with manners – he gets out of the bath to pee.
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has 28.61 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: men
Men are like.....Lawn Mowers. If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: men