How is a man like a microwave oven?
Just another thing that heats up instantly and goes off in twenty seconds.
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If Men Ruled the World... Laws:
Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance.
Car rental agencies would rent tanks.
Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.
It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car as long as you returned it within 24 hours with a full tank of gas.
Get Out of Jail Free cards would be considered legal documents.
An advertisement:
I change 40-year-old wife to two 20-years-old ones.
Do not offer four 10-year-old ones.
What did Barack Obama become after his forty-seventh year?
"Forty-eight years old."
This man goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs.
He says to the clerk, "I'd like to register my new invention.
It's a folding bottle."
"OK," says the clerk.
"What do you call it?"
"A fottle, replies the inventor."
"A fottle?
That's a stupid!
Can't you think of something else?"
"I can think about it.
I've got something else though.
It's a folding carton."
"And what do you call that?" asks the clerk.
"A farton", replies the inventor.
"That's rude.
You can't possibly call it that!"
"In that case," says the inventor...
"You're really going to hate the name of my folding bucket."
Men are like guns.
Keep one around long enough and your going to want to shoot it.
How does a man save a woman from being attacked on the street at night?
He controls himself.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Why is a man different from a PC?
You only have to tell the PC once.
Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born?
To knock the penises off the smart ones.