So I asked a blonde, "Which is closer, Florida or the Sun?"
She said, "The Sun, because I can look up and see it.
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Why was the Blonde's bellybutton bruised?
Her husband was a blonde too!
Q. What is the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
A. A refrigerator doesn't fart when you pull your meat out of it.
My blonde girlfriend went to the doctors this morning and was told she had two weeks to live.
She chose last week and this week.
Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two, one to hold the light bulb and one to spin the ladder around!
Q: What do you get when you give a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.
A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears.
The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?"
The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear.
Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?"
"The sucker called again!"
A guy had a date with this really hot blonde.
He wanted a tan, so he went up on his roof and stripped because he didn't want a tan line.
But he fell asleep and woke up three hours later with a sunburn, especially on his d**k.
He puts lotion on it, wraps it up and gets ready for his date.
The blonde comes over, they make dinner and are watching a movie when the sunburn on the guy's d**k really starts to hurt.
So he excuses himself to the kitchen, where he pours milk on his d**k to alleviate the burn.
The blonde, who has followed him, peeks in the kitchen and says to herself, "So that's how they load them."
Q: Why did the blonde take more than one pregnancy test?
A: Because she slept with more than one guy.
Two blondes wait at a bus stop.
A bus pulls up and opens the door.
One of the blondes leans inside and asks the driver, "Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?"
The bus driver shakes his head and says, "No, I'm sorry."
The other blonde leans inside and asks, "How about ME?"
Doctor: "Yes, what is it I can do for you?"
Blond: "Doctor, yesterday, when I was doing my yoga, one of my friends told me that if I did this particular exercise, all my body’s blood would go into my head. But, when I stand, why doesn’t anyone say that all the blood would go into the legs?"
Doctor: "The fact’s your legs are not that hollow as your head is."
