Joke #5175

So I asked a blonde, "Which is closer, Florida or the Sun?" She said, "The Sun, because I can look up and see it.
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has 68.44 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: blonde

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There were once these two blondes who were sitting around bored and alone one day. They noticed an article in the paper where they were selling bird dogs. Well they had heard that dogs make excellent companions so they went out to buy one. They brought the dog home and fell instantly in love with him. They had heard somewhere that bird dogs were smart and good at what they do. So the two blondes decided to take the dog outside and watch him do what he is was so good at doing. They tried it out a couple of times, but the blondes came off more disappointed than amazed at what the dog could do. Finally one of the blondes was sick and tired of waiting, she suddenly shouted out: "THAT’S IT! We’ll give this dog one more chance. We’ll throw him up in the air one more time and if he doesn’t fly we’re taking him back to the STORE!"
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has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: bird, blonde, dog, love
Q: How do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours? A: Give her a piece of paper that has the words "Turn Over" on both sides.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A blonde gets her haircut while wearing a pair of headphones. The hairdresser asks her to take them off, but she protests that she'll die without them. The hairdresser sighs, and starts cutting the hair around the headphones. Soon, the blonde falls asleep, and the hairdresser removes the headphones. A few minutes later, the blonde collapses, dead on the floor. Alarmed, the hairdresser puts the headphones to his ear and hears, "Breathe in. Breathe out."
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has 73.52 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What goes stop, go, stop, go, stop, go? A blonde at a flashing red light!
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde
What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have? One that never misses a period.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Why did the blonde stand in front of the mirror with her eyes closed? She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown. She then goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road. "Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?" The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. She blurts out "352!" He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep. "I'll take this one," she says proudly. "It's the cutest!" "Hey lady," says the shepherd, "if I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"
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has 85.78 % from 302 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?  A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
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has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing. Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, “Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!” “Dear God! Did you try to stop him?” “No,” she said, “I did better than that! I got the license plate number!”
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has 53.57 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, god, women
Q: Why do only 20 percent of blonde chicks lay Easter eggs? A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.
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has 40.39 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: blonde, easter, hunting