Joke #4918

A man is walking home when he sees a dog buying meat for his owner. The man watches the dog when the butcher takes a little to much and growls and him until he gets the right amount. The man follows the dog and watches as the dog stands on two legs and helps an old lady across the street. Amazed the man follows the dog home and watches the dog ring the doorbell. When the owner comes to the door the owner takes the bags and tells the dog to stay in the front yard. Frustrated the man goes up to the owner and yells "This dog is amazing! He gets your groceries, makes sure you have the exact change, helps old ladies across the street and this is how you treat him!" The owner replies, "I know but,this is the 3rd time this week he left his keys".

A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby. Say, farmer "Is that bull safe?" "Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!"

You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.

What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken? Roost beef.

Q: What do you call a guy with his hand up a Camel's arse? A: An Arab mechanic.

What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common? You can't f**k with either one.

Q: How many sheep do you need to make a sweater? A: I don’t know. I didn’t think sheep could knit!

What's three meters high and jumps every ten seconds? A dinosaur with the hiccups.

Q: What did the seal say when found nuts in the sea? A: "Look I found deep nuts."

Where do sharks come from? Sharkago.

What do you call a well-balanced horse? Stable.