Joke #4918

A man is walking home when he sees a dog buying meat for his owner. The man watches the dog when the butcher takes a little to much and growls and him until he gets the right amount. The man follows the dog and watches as the dog stands on two legs and helps an old lady across the street. Amazed the man follows the dog home and watches the dog ring the doorbell. When the owner comes to the door the owner takes the bags and tells the dog to stay in the front yard. Frustrated the man goes up to the owner and yells "This dog is amazing! He gets your groceries, makes sure you have the exact change, helps old ladies across the street and this is how you treat him!" The owner replies, "I know but,this is the 3rd time this week he left his keys".
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cat, Chuck Norris
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Vote: has 84.23 % from 420 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven’t got the energy." "Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They’re packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bull Sh*t might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there...
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear. In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful. Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could. The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff. His hopes were dim. Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some religion!" The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air. Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to an abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused. Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you, God, for the food I'm about to receive..."
Vote: has 79.48 % from 65 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, god, hunting, religious
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
Vote: has 24.26 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, death, men
What US state has the most cows? Moosouri.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Why is a reindeer like a gossip? Because they are both tail bearers.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black humor, food
Teacher: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do? Christy: I'd climb a tree. Teacher: if the lion climbs a tree? Christy: I will jump in the lake and swim. Teacher: if the lion also jumps in the water and swims after you? Christy: Teacher, are you on my side or on the lion's?
Vote: has 81.90 % from 192 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, school, teacher
A rabbit went to the fortune-teller, “what do you see in my future?” asked the rabbit. “Very soon,” replied the fortune-teller, “you will meet a pretty young girl who will want to know everything about you.” “That’s great!” said the rabbit, hopping up and down. “But when will I meet her?” “Next week in science class,” said the fortune-teller.
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal