Joke #5263

Dad says to his son, "Don't mast*rbate to much because you will go blind." Son say, "I'm over here?"
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has 63.32 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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How does a gay man fake an orgasm? He spits on his partners back.
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has 40.11 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay
When Viagra first came out my wife and I decided to give it a go to see what all the fuss was about. I popped the pill and waited the 15 minutes and then it was on for young and old. We timed the performance to the minute and it all finally subsided at 3 hours and 17 minutes. I asked the missus what she thought and she simply stated that she couldn't understand what all the hype was about for an extra 17 minutes...
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has 55.78 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, time, viagra, wife
This guy dies and his wife gets him cremated. She takes the ashes home and lays them out on the table and starts talking to them. "You know that fur coat you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money. You know the new car you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money." Then she whispers, "You know that blowjob I promised you? Well, here it comes..."
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has 73.48 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: car, death, dirty, money, wife
One day little Jonny was at his house asleep until he heard his parents arguing and his mom called the dad a "bastard" and the dad called the mom a "bitch". So little Jonny asked, "dad what does bitch and bastard mean?" Then his dad said it meant "ladies and gentlemen." So the next day little Jonny was upstairs in his room until he heard his mom moaning. He walked into their room and the mom said "feel my titties" and the dad said "choke on my dick". Little Jonny asked, "dad what does titties and dicks mean?" So his dad said "coats and jackets." Then it was Thanksgiving and they were having family over for the day and Little Jonny went upstairs and heard his dad say "shit!" Because he had cut himself. And Little Jonny said, "dad what does shit mean?" So his dad said "it means wiping shaving cream off my face." So little Jonny went back downstairs and his mom was in the kitchen stuffing a turkey and she yelled: "fuck!" So little Jonny asked, "what does fuck mean?" And she said "stuffing the turkey." Then the doorbell rang, and Little Jonny opened the door and said: "hello bitches and bastards put your titties and dicks on the coat racket, my dads, upstairs wiping the shit off his face and my moms in the kitchen fucking the turkey!"
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has 69.07 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, little Johnny, Thanksgiving, vulgar
A family walks into a hotel and the father goes to the front desk and he says "I hope the porn is disabled." The guy at the desk replies. "It's just regular porn you sick fuck."
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has 80.18 % from 288 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Teacher: "Who knows what is a difference between a snowman and snowwoman?" Little Johnny: "Three snowballs!"
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has 73.41 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, little Johnny, teacher, winter
Q: What do you call Bin Laden when he lost his virginity? A: Osama Bin Laiden.
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has 56.66 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, religious, sex
Q: What is Moby Dick's dad's name? A: Papa Boner
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has 50.98 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty
“Doc, I think my son has VD,” a patient told his urologist on the phone, “The only woman he’s screwed is our maid.” “Okay, don’t be hard on him. He’s just a kid,” the medic soothed, “Get him in here right away and I’ll take care of him.” “But I’ve been screwing the maid too, and I’ve got the same symptoms he has.” “Then you come in with him and I’ll fix you both up,” replied the doctor. “Well,” the man admitted, “I think my wife has it too.” “Oh crap!” the physician roared, “That means we’ve all got it!”
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has 83.64 % from 756 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, phone, wife, women
Knock, Knock Who is there? A long erected penis with an eye on my head and some wools in my feet. What do you want? Is there any body to suck me? I want to weep.
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has 63.20 % from 559 votes. More jokes about: dirty, knock-knock, sex