Joke #5263

Dad says to his son, "Don't mast*rbate to much because you will go blind." Son say, "I'm over here?"

Hitler conquering another village while ww2 and he decided to give a chance for every woman in this village to save their families. He made all men to stand naked one next to another in stright line and every woman have to find her husband by doing them bl*wjob. First woman starts to suck and saying: "Not mine, not mine, not mine, not mine, Mine!" It's turn out that she was right so they could walk away free. Second woman starts to suck: "Not mine, not mine, not mine, not mine, not mine, MINE!" True again so Hitler was deeply surprised and decided to stand in line between men of village. Third woman starts to doing her job and saying: "Not mine, not mine, not mine , not mine, not from this village, not mine...."

Q: Why is a woman's pussy like a warm toilet seat? A: They both feel good, but you wonder who was there before you.

Babe when I die I want you to cremate me, pour my ashes into a bowl of chili, and eat me just so I can tear that ass up one more time!

What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.

Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None because they screw each other the dirty fucks.

Q: What did the letter O said to the letter Q? A: Dude, your dick is hanging out.

Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? He's down to four butts a day.

Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!" Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."

While talking to girl: "Hey, I heard an interesting stat the other day. They said that 80% of women masturbate in the shower. Know what the other 20% do?" "No, what?" "Yea, I figured you were in the first group."

A rich 40 year-old American woman decided to get married, but she wanted her husband to be a virgin and to never had been with a woman all of his life. After some years of pointless searching, she didn’t found anyone with this description and forced to give an ad to the paper. A month later, she met with an Australian man who had never been with a woman before in his life and she married him immediately. On the first night of their wedding and before they lay down, she went for a quick fresh up and then went back to the bedroom, happy. When she entered the room she stood steal... She saw her husband naked to the center of the room and all the furniture on the corner of the room. "But.. What happened?" asked the woman obviously shocked. "Look.. I’ve never been with a woman, but if it’s the same as with the kangaroo, then I’ll need the whole room to catch you!"