What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit?
Are you gonna eat that?
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Q: Why don't witches wear underwear?
A: For a better grip on there broomstick!
How do you know when a Barbie has her period?
All your tic tacks are gone.
Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
Little Johnny's dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a condom about to give his wife some.
Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says,
"Whatcha doin' Daddy?"
Johnny's dad stoops over to cover up his d*ck and starts looking at the floor.
"Oh, I'm just looking for this big rat I saw." he says.
Little Johnny asks, "Whatcha gonna do, f*ck it?"
I've got something you can take up the chain.
A doctor from the inner city was conversing with an old friend from med school at a cafe when he said, "Man, can I tell you something?"
His friend nods. "Sure."
"Okay, so the other day I had this one really hot, foreign patient, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since..."
He goes on to tell his friend everything about her, from her long blond hair and ability to speak fluent French, to her shimmering blue eyes and soft skin.
His friend seemed more disgusted with each passing moment.
"Dude, that is not cool."
The doctor, indignant, defended himself.
"What's wrong with that? Lots of doctors are attracted to their patients."
His friend simply shook his head and replied, "Maybe, but I guarantee you none of those doctors were pediatricians..."
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Q: Why do black women lose their hair at an early age?
A: From all of the hair pulling during rape.
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
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Two condoms walk into a gay bar, look at each other and say "let's get shit-faced!"