Joke #9766

How do you know when a Barbie has her period? All your tic tacks are gone.
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has 58.51 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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One night on christmas eve, santa came down the chimney. He was putting toys under the tree for the good girls and boys of the house. When he got the errie feeling that someone was staring at him. He turned around and sure enough a lady in a nelgiee was looking at him. When she noticed santa looking at her she said, "Santa can you stay, can yuo stay?" Santa, "Hey, hey hey, me have to go. Have to deliever toys for good girls and boys." So then she pulled down her negliee and showed santa her breast. "Santa, can you stay, can you stay?" Santa, "Hey, hey, hey. Me got to go. Have to deliever toys to good girls and boys." Then she took off everything and stood naked in front of santa and said, "Santa can you stay, can you stay?" Santa, "Hey,hey, hey. Me have to stay. Can't go up the chimney this a way!"
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has 58.58 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty
They were three men discussing how to make their wives to tell them if they cheated on them. The first guy says: "I go home after work at night, lie on the couch, turn on the television and ask: 'Woman you cheated on me today!' 'Who, me my husband? Could I ever do such a thing?' Pissed off as I am, I get up, put her down, punch her and in the end she can’t take it anymore and admits: 'I cheated on you with Nick…'" The secong guy says: "I do exactly the same thing. I punch her and finally she says: 'I cheated on you with Jake…'" The third guy says: "I have no problem at all. I go home, undress, put the sweat pants on, light my cigarette on, I go out to the balcony, see the neighbor spreading clothes and shout at her: 'Mary! You are a whore!' And then she starts saying: 'I’m a whore? Or your wife who sleeps with John, Mark, Peter…!'"
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has 70.55 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, war, women
Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm in love but not with you... When we broke up you thought I cried But all it was... Was another guy, You told your friends that I was a trick, I told mine that you had a weak dick... I said I loved you And you thought it was true, But guess what baby?! You got played too!
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has 58.25 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, love, mean, poems
A man goes into a florist and says, "I want to buy some flowers for my girlfriend". "Certainly sir", she responds, "and what in particular are you after"? After some thought, the man answers, "a shag".
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has 80.05 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, men, relationship, sex
Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across? A: A double dirty crosser.
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, travel
A guy went to an electric shop and said: "By a lot of excuse, do you mind me to buy a lamp please?" A manager said: "It isn't necessarily so much apologizes for buying a lamp." The guy said: "Sorry I wanted for installing it in WC."
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has 52.05 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: customer service, dirty, management
A Russian guy comes across a bottle of vodka on the street. He picks it up and a genie comes out, "You are my master. You now have one wish." The Russian man says, "I would like to piss vodka." When the he gets home, he tells his wife to get two glasses. She asks what they'll be drinking. He tells her he can piss vodka and demonstrates for her. It was the best vodka they'd ever had. The next night the Russian guy comes home tired and tells his wife to get one glass. She asks, "Why only one glass?" "Because tonight," he says, "you should drink from the bottle."
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has 59.51 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty, wife
"Does your ass have Allstate insurance?" "No, why?" "Well, do you want it to be in good hands?"
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has 70.17 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant? A: Dress her up as an alter boy.
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has 61.59 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: dirty
How do you blindfold a Chinese person? Put floss over their eyes.
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has 29.96 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: dirty