Joke #9766

How do you know when a Barbie has her period? All your tic tacks are gone.

I'm an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.

Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!

A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground." So the crocodile bit his legs off.

Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?

How do lesbians handle their liquor? By the ears. (Lick her)

Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.

A Yankee from Chicago and a Texan were talking. The Yankee said, "sex is so easy where I'm from we just walk up and stick it in." The Texan said, "where I'm from we stick it in and walk up."

A black third grader goes to his mom and asks, '"Mom, I have the biggest dick in the third grade. Is that because I'm black?" And she responds, "No nigga, it's because you're nineteen!"

Q: "What is the difference between like and love?" A: "Spit and swallow."

A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."