Joke #9766

How do you know when a Barbie has her period? All your tic tacks are gone.
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has 58.51 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother. ‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son. The mother replies, ‘I don’t know. Surprise me.’
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has 37.14 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?" Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!" The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests. "Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
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has 45.29 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, math, teacher
At the court of a small provincial town, a lawyer calls his first witness, an old woman around 80 and he asks her with a professional style: "Do you know me, Mrs. Rowland?" "Of course, I know you Mr. Smith! says the old woman. I know you since you were little, and I have to confess that I am very disappointed in you. You lie, you cheat on your wife repeatedly, you gossip about your clients. Of course, I know you!" Speechless, by the unexpected answer, the lawyer points with his finger on the other side of the court room and says: "Do you know the defense lawyer?" "Oh, yes! I know Mr. Soft as well. I was holding him in my arms when he was a baby, and I can say that I am disappointed in him, too. He’s a drunk and a gamester. He finds it hard to develop a normal relationship with anyone and he is one of the worst lawyers of our town!" At that point, the Chairman interrupts the process and demands from the two lawyers to approach the bench. When they do, he bends over and whispers to them: "If any of you jerks, asks if she knows me, you’re screwed!"
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has 82.15 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: dirty, drunk, lawyer, relationship, wife
My girl caught me blowing my dick with the air dryer, and asked what I was doing? Apparently "heating your dinner" wasn't a good answer.
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has 81.42 % from 1110 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
Did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed his brother in the jungle the other day?
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has 24.38 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
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has 46.83 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dirty, kids, sex
You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
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has 68.25 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, life, sex
Girl Cop: "You have to right to remain silent. Anything you say or do will be used against you." Guy: "Boobs!"
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has 80.45 % from 620 votes. More jokes about: cop, dirty
One day, while Sue was cleaning under the bed, she found a small box. Curious, she opened it and found 3 eggs and 10,000 dollars. A little bit suspicious, she confronted her husband of twenty years about it. "Oh, that," Frank said. "Every time I cheated on you, I put an egg in this box." Sue was a bit unhappy about this, but figured that 3 affairs over twenty years wasn't so bad. "But what about the 10,000 dollars?" "Every time I got a dozen, I sold them."
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has 83.72 % from 501 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A couple driving home hit and wounded a skunk on the road. The wife gets out and brings it back to the car. "We need to take it to a vet. Its shivering, it must be cold, what should I do?" she asks. Husband replies "Put it between your legs to keep it warm." "But it stinks!" she exclaims. "So hold its nose!"
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has 82.41 % from 629 votes. More jokes about: dirty