A cop pulls over a blonde for speeding.
The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license.
"You cops should get it together. One day you take away my license, and the next day you ask me to show it."
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Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A. Locking the car door.
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible," says the doctor.
"Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams inagony.
She pushes her knee and screams,pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes.
The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?"
She says, "No, I'm really a blonde."
"I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken
Q. Why is a blonde like railroad tracks?
A. Because she's been laid all over the country.
How do you keep a blonde busy for 2 days?
Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
A blonde went to buy a pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"
Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!
Q: Why did the blonde take more than one pregnancy test?
A: Because she slept with more than one guy.
A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and asks, "Is this some kind of joke?"
Dustin and Jane (both blonde) were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby had come to an end.
The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.
After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, “What ever possessed you to study Russian?”
The couple said proudly, “We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he’ll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him.”