Joke #5414

Q:Why don't giraffes like fast food? A:Because they can't catch it!
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Roses are red, Violets are blue, faces like yours belong in a zoo. Don't worry I'll be there too, not in the cage, but laughing at you.
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Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back? A: To keep its nuts dry
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A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings." The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings." The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs." The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs." Te bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."
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One afternoon I was walking on a trail with my baby daughter, chatting to her about the scenery. When a man and his dog approached, I leaned down to the carriage and said, “See the doggy?” Suddenly I felt foolish talking to my baby as if she understood me. However, just as the man passed, he reached down, patted his dog, and said, “See the baby?”
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What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before? Deja phew.
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Is Snoop serious? Or is Snoop Lion?
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What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass.
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The little snail begs for his mother: Mother, please let me pass the rail road! Thunder dear, not now. In five hours the train passes.
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Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos? Czechs and stripes don’t mix.
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What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and sheep? A wooly jumper.
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