Q:Why don't giraffes like fast food? A:Because they can't catch it!
The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
Two cowboys come upon an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. One of the cowboys stops and says to the other, "You see that Indian?" "Yeah," says the other cowboy. "Look," says the first one, "he's listening to the ground. He can hear things for miles in any direction." Just then the Indian looks up. "Covered wagon," he says, "about two miles away. Have two horses, one brown, one white. Man, woman, child, household effects in wagon." "Incredible!" says the cowboy to his friend. "This Indian knows how far away they are, how many horses, what colour they are, who is in the wagon, and what is in the wagon. Amazing!" The Indian looks up and says, "Ran over me about a half hour ago."
What do you call a grizzly bear caught in the rain? (A drizzly bear!)
What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull? A steak-out.
Q: What is the difference between a mouse and a dick? A: No difference. Both are searching a hole.
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes? A: Slow clowns.
What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit? The first herd shot round the world.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
What South American dance do cows like to do? The Rump-a.
What do you get when you cross a bumble bee with a rabbit? A honey bunny.