Q:What did the black girl say while having sex?
A:Dad get off me your crushing my ciggs.
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I lost my virginity to a retard last night... I wanted my first time to be special.
My sex life isn’t dead, but the buzzards are circling.
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A: Boo-bees.
"I just had sexed in school today, dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my 16th biurthday, my boyfriend will die."
"Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."
A priest passed near a young boys gang that were hanging out next to the church.
He went close to them and asked them: "What are you boys doing there?"
"Not much, Father. We are playing a game in which however says the biggest lie about his sexual life, wins!"
"Oh, boys!" surprised said the priest. "When I was your age I wasn’t even thinking about sex!"
And the boys unanimously: "You won, Father!"
What’s the difference between a sex night with the husband and one with the truelove?
About a half an hour...
Two condoms are walking down the street when they walk by a gay bar.
One condom says to the other, "Hey man, you wanna get shit-faced?"
An old man goes to his doctor and says, ‘Can you give me something to lower my sex drive.’
The doctor replies, ‘I would have thought at your age it’s all in the mind,’
‘It is,’ agrees the old man.
‘That’s why I want it lower.’
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
