Q: Do you already know the latest stats joke?
A: Probably...
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"What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?"
"She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me."
"I don't believe that she cheated on you!"
"Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..."
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One attractive young businesswoman to another over lunch:
"My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying."
A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said.
"All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
Q: Did you hear that joke about the infinite line?
A: Don’t worry, It doesn’t have a point!
Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
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What did the 0 say to the 8?
Nice belt!
George and Harry out in a hot air balloon to cross the Atlantic Ocean.
After 37 hours in the air, George says "Harry, we better lose some altitude so we can see where we are".
Harry let's out some of the hot air in the balloon, and the balloon descends to below the cloud cover.
George says, "I still can't tell where we are, let's ask that guy on the ground".
So Harry yells down at the man "Hey, could you tell us where we are?"
The man on the ground yells back "You're in a balloon, 100 feet up in the air".
George turns to Harry and says "That man must be a lawyer".
And Harry says "How can you tell?".
George says "Because the advice he gave us is 100% accurate and totally useless".
That's the end of the Joke, but for you people who are still worried about George and Harry:
They end up in the drink, and make the front page of the New York Times: "Balloonists Soaked by Lawyer".
The teacher asked little Johnny, “What’s two and two?”.
He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, “Four, teacher?”.
She said, ” Yes, that’s right, but you counted on your fingers. Put your hands behind behind your back and tell me what’s three and three”.
He put his hands behind his back, fumbled around, and answered, “Six, teacher?”.
She said, “Yes, that’s right, but you’re still counting on your fingers.
Put your hands in your pockets and tell me what’s five and five”.
He put his hands in his pockets, fumbled around, and replied, “Eleven, teacher?”.
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