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Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven?
A: She didn't know what one came first.
Old mathematicians never die - they just lose some of their functions.
Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
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Q: What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
A: He didn't count with this...
Little Johnny in Math Class.
One day little Johnny was sitting in math class.
The teacher asked him, "there are 3 crows on a fence the farmer shoots one how many are left?"
Little Johnny replied "none."
Confused the teacher asked again.
"Johnny, there are 3 crows on the fence the farmer shoots 1 how many are left?"
Johnny replies "0."
Teacher says, "ok Little Johnny how are you getting this."
Little Johnny replies, "if 1 crow dies then the other two fly away, 0 crows left."
Teacher says "that's not the correct answer but I like the way your thinking."
Little Johnny replies, "ok teach, there 3 girls in an ice-cream parlor.
One is sucking the cone, one is licking the cone, and the other is biting the cone, which one is married?"
The teacher replies, "I guess the one sucking the cone."
Little Johnny says, "no bitch it's the one with the ring on her finger but, I like the way your thinking."
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.
She called on him and said, "Johnny!
What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"
Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"
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Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
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Q: Do you know why infinity goes on forever?
A: Because it knows Chuck Norris is waiting for it at the end.
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Yo momma is so stupid when they asked her 1+1 she said "Ouch! it is a long story."