Joke #5479

Math tells us three of the saddnest love stories: 1)Tangent lines who had one chance to meet and then parted forever. 2)Parallel lines who were never meant to meet. 3)Asymptotes who can get closer and closer but will never be together.
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has 69.91 % from 154 votes. More jokes about: math

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DEPT OF STATISTICS: All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve. DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY: Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind. DEPT OF HISTORY: All students get the same grade they got last year. DEPT OF RELIGION: Grade is determined by God. DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY: What is a grade? LAW SCHOOL: Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A. DEPT OF MATHEMATICS: Grades are variable. DEPT OF LOGIC: If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A. DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE: Random number generator determines grade. MUSIC DEPARTMENT: Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively). DEPT OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION: Everybody gets an A.
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has 55.90 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: history, math, religious, school
One attractive young businesswoman to another over lunch: "My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying."
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has 61.40 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: business, life, math, time, women
If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my math class: it would seem so much longer.
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has 71.53 % from 512 votes. More jokes about: math
Why did I divide sin by tan? Just cos.
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has 47.10 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: math
Dear Maths, Please grow up now and solve you problems yourself.
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has 60.60 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: math
E=mc squared. E multiplied by mc squared=Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
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has 30.92 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math
What happened to the plant in math class? It grew square roots.
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has 62.45 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: math
The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers. "Yes," he says. "My daddy taught me." "Can you tell me what comes after three?" "Four," answers little Johnny. "What comes after six?" "Seven," answers little Johnny. "Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a very fine job. What comes after ten?" "A jack," answers little Johnny.
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has 80.60 % from 691 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, math, teacher
Yo momma is so stupid when they asked her 1+1 she said "Ouch! it is a long story."
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has 29.75 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: math, stupid, Yo mama
I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths. "I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: customer service, food, math, stupid, work