I have a scary joke about math but im 2² to say it.
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Q:Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
A:Because you can't drink and derive...
Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself?
A: Because nobody understood him.
Teacher: "How much is half of 8?"
Little Johnny: "Up and down or across?"
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Little Johnny: "Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!"
Vote:
A somewhat advanced society has figured out how to package basic knowledge in pill form.
A student, needing some learning, goes to the pharmacy and asks what kind of knowledge pills are available.
The pharmacist says: "Here's a pill for English literature."
The student takes the pill and swallows it and has new knowledge about English literature.
"What else do you have?" asks the student.
"Well I have pills for art history, biology, and world history," replies the pharmacist.
The student asks for these, and swallows them and has new knowledge about those subjects.
Then the student asks: "Do you have a pill for math?"
The pharmacist says, "Wait just a moment," goes back to the storeroom, brings back a whopper of a pill, and plonks it on the counter.
"I have to take that huge pill for math?" inquires the student.
The pharmacist replies, "Well you know math always was a little hard to swallow."
Why is 69 afraid of 70?
Because they once had a fight and 71.
70 is a rumored cannibal but no can prove who 78
78 my ass
Q: How many mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: On average or do you want the whole distribution?
What is 6.9?
A great thing ruined by a period.
Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test.
The doctor says to the first man, "What is three times three?"
"274," was his reply.
The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?"
"Tuesday," replies the second man.
The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?"
"Nine," says the third man.
"That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?"
"Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."
Vote:
Teacher: What's 2 and 2?
Pupil: 4
Teacher: That's good.
Pupil: Good? That's perfect!