Joke #5447

Q: How many mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: On average or do you want the whole distribution?
Vote: has 45.89 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Sex is like math: Add the bed Subtract the clothes Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
Vote: has 61.48 % from 78 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, math, time
Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house? A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.
Vote: has 78.88 % from 2209 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: asian, car, computer, math, racist
"What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?" "She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me." "I don't believe that she cheated on you!" "Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..."
Vote: has 63.13 % from 91 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math, phone, relationship, student
An engineer and a physicist are in a hot-air balloon. After a few hours they lose track of where they are and descend to get directions. They yell to a jogger, "Hey, can you tell us where we're at?" After a few moments the jogger responds, "You're in a hot-air balloon." The engineer says, "You must be a mathematician." The jogger, shocked, responds, "yeah, how did you know I was a mathematician?" "Because, it took you far too long to come up with your answer, it was 100% correct, and it was completely useless."
Vote: has 72.61 % from 302 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math, science
I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.
Vote: has 72.31 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math, mean, school
A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and was asked, "What is 2+2?" The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, "4." Then the mathemetician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, "4.0" Then the lawyer was called in, and was asked the same question. The lawyer answered even quicker than the mathematician, "What do you want it to be?"
Vote: has 75.91 % from 80 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer, math
I'll admit that the Chinese kids in math class are pretty smart. But doing it with their eyes closed... that's a bit cocky.
Vote: has 79.48 % from 1122 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math, racist
DEPT OF STATISTICS: All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve. DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY: Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind. DEPT OF HISTORY: All students get the same grade they got last year. DEPT OF RELIGION: Grade is determined by God. DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY: What is a grade? LAW SCHOOL: Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A. DEPT OF MATHEMATICS: Grades are variable. DEPT OF LOGIC: If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A. DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE: Random number generator determines grade. MUSIC DEPARTMENT: Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively). DEPT OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION: Everybody gets an A.
Vote: has 60.65 % from 47 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: history, math, religious, school
What is 6.9? A great thing ruined by a period.
Vote: has 77.29 % from 106 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: math, sex
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.
Vote: has 73.44 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: accountant, math