Why is 69 afraid of 70?
Because they once had a fight and 71.
70 is a rumored cannibal but no can prove who 78
78 my ass
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Q: You know that awesome feeling, when you finally understand math?
A: Me neither.
There are three kinds of accountants in the world.
Those who can count and those who can't.
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Three elderly men are at the doctor for a memory test.
The doctor says to the first man, "What is three times three?"
"274," was his reply.
The doctor says to the second man, "It's your turn. What is three times three?"
"Tuesday," replies the second man.
The doctor says to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's three times three?"
"Nine," says the third man.
"That's great!" says the doctor. "How did you get that?"
"Simple," says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."
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Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children?
A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
Q: What did the constipated mathematician do?
A: He worked it out with a pencil!
Teacher: "Who knows 5+5=?"
Little Johnny: "11"
Teacher: "Take out your hand from trousers pocket and count with your fingers."
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Q: Do you already know the latest stats joke?
A: Probably...
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad.
His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ?
The logician replies: "yes".
So Descartes goes into a bar late one night for a beer.
At closing time, the bartender makes Last Call and asks him, "Get you another?"
Descartes replies, "I think not." And disappears.