Two statisticians go bird hunting.
The first one fires at the bird but overshoots by 5 feet.
The second one fires and undershoots the bird by 5 feet.
They both give each other a high-five and say "Got it!"
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Q: Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven?
A: She didn't know what one came first.
Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.
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There was a blonde who was at an all blonde football game.
At halftime she was called down to answer questions to see if she could win $1000.
The first question was what is 10 plus 11?
She hesitates and says, "hm.. 5!"
The host says "No, I'm sorry thats incorrect."
All of the blondes in the stadium chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
So the host agrees and said, "Ok how about 5 plus 5."
She answers and says "20".
Again all the blondes chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
So the host agrees again and says, "OK, last chance, what is 2 plus 2."
The blonde says "4!" and the audience says "Give her another chance give her another chance!"
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they can divide sin and cosine to get a tan!
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"
"None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
What happened to the plant in math class?
It grew square roots.
Teacher: "Who knows 5+5=?"
Little Johnny: "11"
Teacher: "Take out your hand from trousers pocket and count with your fingers."
Do you like maths?
If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!
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Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
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