Two statisticians go bird hunting.
The first one fires at the bird but overshoots by 5 feet.
The second one fires and undershoots the bird by 5 feet.
They both give each other a high-five and say "Got it!"
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Maths is like s*x...
ADD the bed
MINUS the clothes
DIVIDE the legs
and pray you don't MULTIPLY.
Why is 69 afraid of 70?
Because they once had a fight and 71.
70 is a rumored cannibal but no can prove who 78
78 my ass
Chuck Norris can count the number of corners in a circle.
Vote:
Dear Maths,
Please grow up now and solve you problems yourself.
There was a statistician that drowned crossing a river... It was 3 feet deep on average.
Chuck Norris can cross all Seven Bridges of Konigsberg, making all the current laws of Math, obsolete.
Vote:
A mathematician, physicist and economist after Titanic crash on uninhabited island in the middle of Atlantic ocean.
Starving to death they found a can of roastbeef.
They start debating how to open the can without can-opener.
Mathematician suggests to drop the can from the cliff to open it.
Physicist proposes to heat the can on bonfire.
Economist: "Let's suppose the can is opened...."
Q: What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
A: He didn't count with this...
Student: What’s infinity?
Math Teacher: Think of a number.
Student: Okay, I’ve got one.
Teacher: Good. That’s not it.
A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test.
The engineer went in first and was asked, "What is 2+2?"
The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, "4."
Then the mathemetician was called in and was asked the same question.
With little thought he replied, "4.0"
Then the lawyer was called in, and was asked the same question.
The lawyer answered even quicker than the mathematician, "What do you want it to be?"