Joke #5542

Two statisticians go bird hunting. The first one fires at the bird but overshoots by 5 feet. The second one fires and undershoots the bird by 5 feet. They both give each other a high-five and say "Got it!"

Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there. The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket. The physicist says, "I know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out." The chemist says, "No! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants." While the physicist and chemist debate what course to take, they both are alarmed to see the statistician running around the room starting other fires. They both scream, "What are you doing?" To which the statistician replies, "Trying to get an adequate sample size."

A chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore. The chemist and the physicist comes up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."

Maths is like s*x... ADD the bed MINUS the clothes DIVIDE the legs and pray you don't MULTIPLY.

Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.

Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: Because she couldn't find the 11

Q: Do you know why infinity goes on forever? A: Because it knows Chuck Norris is waiting for it at the end.

The square root of Pain is Chuck Norris.

Three statisticians are out hunting. Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away. The first statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the left. The second statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the right. The third statistician starts jumping up and down, yelling "We got him! We got him!"

The bartender asks: "Would all three of you like some beer?" The first one replies, "I don't know." The second one replies, "I don't know either." The third replies, "Yes."

Why are rabbits like calculators? They both multiply a lot.