Joke #5226

Jimmy was staring at a dog in the park whilst the dog was licking himself in inappropriate parts and said to his dad, "I wish I could do that." Jimmy's dad looked down at Jimmy and said, "Maybe if you ask the dog nicely, he might let you!"
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has 71.97 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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A woman goes to the gynecologist for the first time and is awfully nervous. When the doctor comes into the examining room, he notices immediately that she's very tense. "Listen, dear. I know this must be scary for you. Do you want me to give you some thing to numb you down there?" The girl doesn't say anything, but just nods her head yes. So the doctor removes her underwear, puts his mouth in her crotch. "Numb, numb, numb, numb, numb..."
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has 60.22 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor
A boss has to fire one of 2 workers, Jack and Jill. However, Both Jack and Jill are skilled workers and he is finding it really, really difficult to pick. So after their shifts, Jack goes home before Jill does, and the boss goes over to Jill just before she gets into her car. He informs her of his dilemma. "Hey Jill, I have a problem." "Ok Boss, what is it?" she asks "I Can't decide whether to lay you or Jack off, what would you suggest?" "Well, you'd better get the vasoline, i'm going home!"
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has 74.28 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: dirty, management, masturbation, work
Drinking all day at a bar a man stumbles to the restroom to throw up. He doesn't make it in time and pukes all over the front of his shirt. As the drunk returned to the bar the bartender asks: "what the hell happened?" The drunk is very upset explaining to the bartender: "my wife gonna be pissed off! She just got me this shirt as an anniversary gift. Soon as she sees puke all over it, she will be shitty!" The bartender, being helpful says: "I got an idea. Why don't you put a $10 bill in the front shirt pocket and when she notices the puke you can say you drove a drunk fella home from the bar and during the drive, he got sick and puked all over the front of your new shirt?" Naturally, the guy felt bad so he gave you the $10 so you could have it cleaned. The drunk looked at the bartender a moment, thinking it over. "That's a great idea, the drunk slurs. Thank you." And the drunk left. When the drunk walked in the front door of his home there stood his wife to greet him. She hugged him and said: "oh my lord Frank, what happened to your new shirt?" He explained: "I drove a drunk fella home from the bar and he puked all over the front of my shirt, patting the pocket, and gave me $10 to get it cleaned." The wife reaches in and pulls the cash from the pocket. "But Frank," the wife says, "there is $20 here." Frank replies, "oh, I forgot to mention, he shit in my pants too."
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has 69.44 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, disgusting, drunk, money
Why do women fart after they take a piss? Because they can't shake it, so they blow dry it.
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has 41.13 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fart
Johny met his classmate from high school after ten years who was still very beautiful. As he met her, he told her only: "Hi Ann, I am pleased to see you again after so many years." Ann took a look at his pants and said: "I know that you´re pleased."
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has 43.09 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, school, sex, time
Getting married is like buying a dishwasher. You'll never have to do it by hand again.
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has 59.17 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: dirty, marriage, masturbation, technology, work
What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
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has 38.67 % from 259 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, dirty, disgusting, sex
Q: Why all men say "Ladies first"? A: They want to watch their asses.
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has 78.47 % from 280 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, men, women
Q: What does it mean if you were born in September? A: That your parents started the new year with a bang!
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has 67.76 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: birthday, dirty, new year, sex, time
Yo momma's so old she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said Lil Mary will never amount to anything.
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has 35.66 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, time, Yo mama