Joke #558

Q. Why was the blonde in the tree? A. Because she was raking up the leaves!
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde

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A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding unassisted, without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager, runs out to unplug the horse.
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has 41.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: blonde, customer service, horse
Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: blonde
This blonde woman went to Canada to seek her fortune as a lumberjack. She met a foreman of a logging organization who offered to give her a job. "Now I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at least 100 trees a day," the foreman told her. The blonde woman didn't see this as a problem, so she went out with the Chainsaw and did her best. She came back sweating like a pig. "Christ, how many trees did you cut down?" asked the foreman. "6" she replied. "What!? You have to do beter than that. Get up earlier tommorow.'' The foreman said. So she did. Out she went with the chainsaw, she came back that night exhausted. "How many this time?" asked the foreman. "12" she said. The foreman says, "That does it. I'm coming out there with you tommorow morning." The next morning, the foreman reaches the first tree and says, "This is how to cut down trees really quickly." He pulls the rope on the chainsaw and it gives off a loud BRRRRRRUM. He notices the blonde is looking at him frantically. So he asks her what's wrong. She replies, "What the hell is that?"
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has 78.50 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, “I think we’re in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?” This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, “I’ve got an idea. We’ll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours.” The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled the ribbons off while they were playing.” “OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars. Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled their collars off while they were playing.” “There’s got to be some way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, “I know! Why don’t you take the black one and I’ll take the white one!”
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has 78.11 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
How many blondes does it take to play tag? One.
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has 42.00 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: blonde, game
After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whorehouse. He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20. The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left. He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room. To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting naked on the bed. So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life. Upon orgasm he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs. He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"
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has 61.68 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, life, money
On day a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde were on their way to heaven. God told them the stairs to heaven were 1,000 steps and on every step he was going to tell them a joke. If they laughed they would not be able to get to heaven. So the redhead made it to the 45th step and laughed. The brunette made it to the 200th step and laughed. But the blonde made it to the 999th step and laughed even before god told his joke. God asked "Why did you laugh I haven't even told the joke yet" The blonde said "I know I just now got the first one!!!"
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has 79.71 % from 1119 votes. More jokes about: blonde, ginger, heaven, travel
A blonde was sitting in economy class... on a flight from Seattle to Chicago.
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has 15.22 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: airplane, blonde, travel
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
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has 69.22 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, dirty, sex
What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have? One that never misses a period.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: blonde