A father has three daughters that are all getting married on the same day.
He asks his oldest daughter, ''Who do you wish to marry?
She says, ''Father, I wish to marry the man with three dragons on his chest.''
He walks over to his second daughter and asks her the same question.
She replies, ''Father, I wish to marry the man with two dragons on his chest.''
He then goes to his youngest daughter and asks her the same thing:
''Who do you wish to marry?''
She replies, ''I wish to marry the man with one draggin' on the floor!''
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A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary.
As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to f*ck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
On the other day in a cemetery, I saw a woman who was rubbing her ass to a grave.
When I asked the reason, she answered: "It was my husband when he was alive; always he told me: 'Your ass is so sweet whenever any dead man touches it he'll be alive!'"
Q: What is the difference between your cock, and your bonus?
A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!
Three policemen are sitting in a car.
Bored, as cards and domino make them sick already.
On thinks of an idea:
Guys, lets play golf.
All we need is a stick, ball and a hole.
I can arrange a stick, – one says.
I will get a ball, - adds another.
Guys, I’m not playing this dirty game, - says the third one.
There once was a girl named Pinkie who desired to have a little inky,
when the notion of the motion was planted,
in her dinky little head.
With her butt in the air,
while the man in the sidecar tattooed her derriere 100 miles per hour down I 45 to bike fest.
Drunk and stupid and would not listen,
smeared beyond recognition,
she said it was Tinker Bell but we couldn't tell O well.
What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit?
Are you gonna eat that?
What is difference between woman and condom?
None :-)
Both of them spend more time in your wallet...than on your d*ck !
One night on christmas eve, santa came down the chimney. He was putting toys under the tree for the good girls and boys of the house.
When he got the errie feeling that someone was staring at him.
He turned around and sure enough a lady in a nelgiee was looking at him.
When she noticed santa looking at her she said, "Santa can you stay, can yuo stay?"
Santa, "Hey, hey hey, me have to go. Have to deliever toys for good girls and boys."
So then she pulled down her negliee and showed santa her breast. "Santa, can you stay, can you stay?"
Santa, "Hey, hey, hey. Me got to go. Have to deliever toys to good girls and boys."
Then she took off everything and stood naked in front of santa and said, "Santa can you stay, can you stay?"
Santa, "Hey,hey, hey. Me have to stay. Can't go up the chimney this a way!"
I don't know whats happening in this country.
You've got school children dressing like whores and whores dressing like school children.
Its a nightmare... you just don't know whether to carry sweets or money!