Joke #3849

Randy Rachel has got a speech impediment – she can’t say no.

Why do women fake orgasms? Because they think men care.

A man goes to a psychologist and says, "Doc I got a real problem, I can't stop thinking about relations." The psychologist says, "Well let's see what we can find out", and pulls out his ink blots. "What is this a picture of?" he asks. The man turns the picture upside down then turns it around and states, "That's a man and a woman having relations." The psychologist says, "Very interesting," and shows the next picture. "And what is this a picture of?" The man looks and turns it in different directions and says, "That's a man and a woman having relations." The psychologists tries again with the third ink blot, and asks the same question, "What is this a picture of?" The patient again turns it in all directions and replies, "That's a man and a woman having relations." The psychologist states, "Well, yes, you do seem to be obsessed with relations." "Me!?" demands the patient. "You're the one who keeps showing me the dirty pictures!"

Man to vicar: ‘Do you approve of sex before marriage?’ Vicar: ‘Not if it delays the service.’

You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.

You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.

Q: What did the penis say to the condom? A: Cover me im going in!

What’s the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.

What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult.

Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? A: Miracle Whip.

Q. How can you tell a head nurse? A. She's the one with the dirty knees!