Randy Rachel has got a speech impediment – she can’t say no.
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A couple have just had sex.
The woman says, ‘If I got pregnant, what would we call the baby?’
The man takes off his condom, ties a knot in it, and flushes it down the toilet.
‘Well,’ he says.
‘If he can get out of that, we’ll call him Houdini.’
One day, a man was fishing on a dock across from a hotel in the country, when another man came and sat down.
By way of conversation, the man asked the other what he was doing there.
"I'm on a honeymoon."
"Oh. Shouldn't you be having sex with your wife?"
"Well, I would be. But she has a yeast infection."
"What about oral sex?"
"Gingivitis."
"Anal sex?"
"Diarrhea."
"Pardon my question, but why are you with her?"
"Well, I like fishing. And she's got worms."
A guy is late to meet with his friends at the local bar the friends obviously ask why he is late and he responds:
"Wow, you won't believe what just happened. So I take the usual route via the rail tracks and suddenly I see a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks."
The friends are curious and ask: "Well, what happened next?"
The guy says: "Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her."
The friends are cheering and one friend asks: "Soo... did you get any head?"
The guy says: "No, I couldn't find it..."
Vote:
Q: Why did Daft Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun?
A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"
The biggest difference between men and women is what comes to mind when the word 'Facial' is used.
Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex:
- You can GET chocolate.
- Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft.
- You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
- You can have chocolate in in public.
- If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind.
- The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
- You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
- No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate.
- Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
- You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
- You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
- Size doesn't matter - though more is still better.
What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
Why do so many women fake orgasm?
Because so many men fake foreplay.
Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.