Joke #2249

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something."
Vote:
has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Men are like.....Laxatives. They irritate the shit out of you.
Vote:
has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.
Vote:
has 81.89 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: life, mean, men, women
Men are like.....Commercials. You can't believe a word they say
Vote:
has 13.86 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: men
Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together. One man says, "I'm a salesman. What about you?" "I'm a hit man for the mob," replies the second man. He pulls out a high powered rifle loaded with scopes and sights. He then asks the man where he lives. Nervously, the first man replies, "In a subdivision just west of here. Gray roof, yellow siding." "You got a silver compact and a red pickup?" "The compact is my wife's car, but that's my buddy Jeff's truck." The hit man looks through the scope again. "Well, they're going at it like teenagers in your bedroom." "I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot him in the balls." The hit man says, "I get paid $5,000 per shot." "I don't care! Just do it!" The hit man takes careful aim and says, "This is your lucky day. You're going to get a two for one!"
Vote:
has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: car, golf, men, money, wife
Something Special For His Birthday It was Jim's birthday, and he was considered to be an "old man" by his friends standards. So, to liven him up a bit, Jim's friends decided to give him something special for his birthday. They bought him a hooker. The call girl, as she preferred to be called, went to his house and knocked on the door. When Jim answered, she said "Hi I'm your birthday present!" Startled, he asked "What am I supposed to do with you?" "I'm yours for super sex," she answers. So Jim replied "Well, I'm 75 years old so I'll have the soup."
Vote:
has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: men
A guy rang up to air port and said: "Do you mind me please to ask how long is from New York to Sanfransico? The lady replied "A moment..." Then the guy said "Thank you" and ceased conversation.
Vote:
has 73.79 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, stupid, time, travel
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
Vote:
has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, husband, men
What is the difference between a man and E.T.? E.T. phoned home.
Vote:
has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: men
A woman is standing looking in the bedroom mirror… She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, “I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly… I really need you to pay me a compliment.” The husband replies, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
Vote:
has 81.50 % from 357 votes. More jokes about: age, men, ugly
"What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?" "A Budweiser in each hand!"
Vote:
has 45.60 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, men