"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something."
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Q. How do men define a long-term relationship?
A. A second date.
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you. You've broken your finger!"
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with, "A man once told me..."
Three men were at a bar discussing coincidences.
The first man said, "My wife was reading A Tale of Two Cities and she gave birth to twins."
"That’s funny," the second man remarked, "My wife was reading The Three Musketeers and she gave birth to triplets."
The third man shouted, "Oh my, I have to rush home!"
When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, "When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves!"
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish.
The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home.
The second guy wishes the same.
The third guy says "I’m lonely.
I wish my friends were back here."
Vote:
On his Birthday, a man named Peter was really upset because none of his family members or near and dear ones wished him.
As he walked into his office, his secretary Anna said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!"
He felt a bit better knowing that at least someone remembered.
In the lunch time Anna knocked on his door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your Birthday, why don't we go out for lunch, just you and me."
Peter happily agreed
They had their lunch but on the way back to the office, Anna said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day...
We don't have to go right back to the office, do we?"
Peter replied "I suppose not.
What do you have in mind?"
She said, "Let's go to my apartment, it's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment, Anna said, "Boss if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment.
I'll be right back."
"Ok."
He nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes; she came out carrying a huge birthday cake...
Followed by his wife, his kids, and dozens of his friends, and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday".
And Peter just sat there...
On the couch...
Naked!
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest.
After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!".
The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
What did Barack Obama become after his forty-seventh year?
"Forty-eight years old."
