Joke #2249

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something."
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has 34.87 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: men

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A man left for work one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spending all his wages. When he finally got home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife. After two hours, she stopped nagging and said, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?" He replied, "That would be fine with me." Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Thursday, the swelling went down just enough for him to see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
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Why do men want to vote for a female President? Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
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A hubby is having a short conversation with his wife. See dear, if you got home early from work one day and you found me pounding on another woman, this would be called an awkward situation! So its the same honey, if you came home early from work and found me in bed with another man? No darling, you are now confused and mixing the awkward situation with proper beating!
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Women prefer the simple things in life… like men.
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Why are men like laxatives? They can irritate the s**t out of you.
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Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.
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Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A. A widow.
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A doctor says to his patient, "I have bad news and worse news." "Oh dear, what's the bad news?" asks the patient. The doctor replies, "You only have 24 hours to live." "That's terrible," said the patient. "How can the news possibly be worse?" The doctor replies, "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday."
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How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner.
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They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach. But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
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