"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something."
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How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male?
All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
How is a man like a snowstorm?
You don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.
Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A: They already have boyfriends.
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A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk.
The head monk said, "You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years."
The man agreed and after the first 3 years, the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?"
"Food cold!" the man replied.
Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?"
"Robe dirty!" the man exclaimed.
Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?"
"I quit!" said the man.
"Well," the head monk replied, "I am not surprised. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!"
"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
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Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain?
A: A widower.
Men are like.....Mascara.
They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.
Susan was having a tough day and after returning home she started complaining.
She said to her husband, "Nobody loves me….nobody cares for me..the whole world hates me!"
Her husband, watching TV said casually: "That’s not true dear. You are not that famous that whole world hates you. Some people don’t even know you."
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. Men will screw anything.
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