Six nuns are washing themselves all together when the doorbell rings.
One nun goes to the door and says 'who is it?'
An elderly gentleman replies "It's the blind man from the village" so the nun shouts to the others, "don't worry it's just the blind man from the village, I'll let him in."
She lets him in and goes "how can we help?"
The gent replies "I'm just going to go measure your blinds, but nice tits"
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A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.
Why don't men like to drink coffee at work?
It keeps them awake.
A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working.
He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock.
The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP".
I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".
Question: Why do men die before their wives?
Answer: Because they want to.
When a woman gets a vibrator, it's seen as a bit of naughty fun. But when a guy orders a 240 volt Fuckmaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating pussy, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collecting tray, together with optional built-in realistic orgasm scream 7.1 sound system, he's called a pervert.
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Q: What would men do if they had breasts?
A: They'd stay at home and play with them all day.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to work it.
B. Penicillin.
Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born?
To knock the penises off the smart ones.
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.