Joke #5610

Little Johnny comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said Little Johnny. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little pissed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks. "Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren't getting any milk." Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen. Little Johnny looks up at his mother with a smile, and says: "Are you going to tell him, or should I?"
Vote: has 85.26 % from 1180 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!
Vote: has 74.20 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dirty, flirt, food, sex
Q. Why doesn't Santa have any children? A. Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.
Vote: has 74.89 % from 67 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
Yo moma is so fat, and so nasty, when she sat down on the toilet, grown men fall out of her screaming "We're free! We're free!"
Vote: has 59.93 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, fat, men, Yo mama
A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms. He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?" She responds, "No sir, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?"
Vote: has 82.87 % from 482 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, drug, women
They are going to play golf at the business meeting. The guy flies out there a day early. He's got all day in Japan so he decides he wants to get himself a geisha. He goes to a house of ill repute and finds what he's looking for. He takes her in back and starts doing his thing. The girl starts going crazy. She starts yelling, "Machigatta ana! Machigatta ana!" He thinks, "This girl is loving this." Next day in the golf course he hits a hole in one. He doesn't know any Japanese so he yells, "Machigatta ana!" The Japanese guys ask him, "What do you mean wrong hole?"
Vote: has 72.54 % from 52 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, ethnic, golf, sex
What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common? In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.
Vote: has 84.09 % from 499 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
Teacher draws a pen*s on the blackboard . Does any one know what that is? "Yes," says Tommy. "My dad has two, a small one for weeing and a big one for cleaning the babysitters teeth."
Vote: has 83.93 % from 152 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
What's 72? 69 with 3 people watching!
Vote: has 55.11 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison.
Vote: has 75.69 % from 238 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, prison, sex
After a long time two friends met, happy to see each other. One of them, chewing on something big, asked his friend how was he and what was new in his life. After the friend told his story, he asked the same question to the friend who was chewing something. "So, what’s up man?" "It’s a shitty period, there is nothing that works in my life and I feel really bad." "What is going on?! "Last Saturday I went to Las Vegas. You know that from time, to time I’m going there to play at casino, three or four times a year. I took with me thousand dollars and I put the other hundred in my driving license that I left in the car. For the safety reasons, you know, if it goes really bad at casino, I must have the money to pay highway and go back home. And so I walked in casino, I bought the chips and found an empty seat on a roulette table, next to a beautiful woman, about forty years old with a very provocative neckline. I made my first bet on 32, the number of my house, aiming 10 dollars." "How did it go?" The guy continues to tell his story, without stopping to chew something. "Released! I felt all the winning streak and I bet again on 32 and it’s released again. I was winning almost 13 000 dollars and the adrenaline was at maximum. I felt like I was the God and around the table came so many people to congratulated me and I bet more than 10 thousand dollars on 23." "And it went out again?" "No! This time came out a bloody 13. Do you realize that I had the bad luck? I had in my hands a lot of money and if 32 came out I was settled for a life time. But the horrid number 13 ruined my evening and the hole week after." "I understand you very well. It ‘s really to eat the balls." The other friend, continuing to chew louder: "What do you think I’m doing?"
Vote: has 22.82 % from 49 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, life, money