Joke #5725

Wife says to husband, "You make love like you decorate." Husband replies, "What very slow and professional?" "NO,"she replies, "I have to finish the job myself."

Man gives blood too save his wifes life. Few months later they are divorced. Husband says too wife, "I want my blood back you B*TCH!" Wife throws the tampon at him and says, "I will pay you back monthly you B*STARD."

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.

Your mama is so stupid, when she lost her dildo she called the cops to look for it.

Q: What is the difference between a mouse and a dick? A: No difference. Both are searching a hole.

A kid walks into a class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks the teacher asks, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On top of blueberry hill." Then another boy walks in with no shirt and no socks and the teacher says, "Where have you been?" The boy says, "On top of blueberry hill." Then a girl walks in and the teacher asks, "Where have you been? Oh, let me guess on top of blueberry hill." and the girl says, "No, I am blueberry hill."

Your house is so dirty I saw rats on dirt bikes.

A woman heads to the doctors office for her usual checkup. While there, the doc notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of an H and inquires about it, "Oh, my boyfriend likes to wear his Harvard sweater during sex." The next day, another woman comes in, for a checkup. While there, the doctor notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of a Y and inquires about it,"Oh, my boyfriend is really into wearing his Yale sweater during sex." The next day, another woman comes in, again, for a simple checkup. This woman too has a rash on her chest, and the doctor, catching on with the trend, asks,"So, Does your boyfriend go to Wisconsin?" The girl replies, "Nah, but my girlfriend goes to Michigan."

Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.

What has a slice of burnt toast and a pregnant girlfriend got in common? In both cases you wish you took it out a few seconds earlier.