Joke #5727

One day a blonde and a redhead were playing together over the redhead's house while the redhead's father was out. The father had a pet parrot, which he did n ot let anyone else touch. But, when he left, the girls took him out. The girls were playing with it, when the blonde grabbed the parrot and accidentally ripped out one of its wings. “Now you've done it!” the red head yelled at the blonde. “Go buy him another one just like that, here's some money.” The redhead went into her piggy bank and gave the blonde $50. “Okay,” said the blonde, “but it's going to hard to find a parrot with only one wing.”

Why don't blondes like making Kool-Aid? Because they can't fit eight cups of water in the little packet.

There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Hey" she shouts, "how can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, "You are already on the other side."

A road construction manager needed to hire someone to paint the yellow lines down the middle of a newly constructed road. A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all get hired. They are each assigned a section of the road. The first day, the blonde paints 2 miles, the redhead 1.5, and the brunette only 1. On the second day, the blonde paints 1 mile, the brunette 2, and the redheaed 2.5. On the third day, the blonde only gets 1/4 of a mile done, the redheaed 3, and the brunette 3.5. The manager decides to talk to the blonde. "You haven't been painting as much road as you did on the first day," the manager said. "What's the problem?" "I'd be painting more, but the bucket keeps getting farther and farther away!"

Q. What do you do if a blond throws a pin at you? A. Run...she has a grenade in her mouth.

A blonde had some goldfish and she did not know how to feed them. So she called her brunette friend, and she showed her how. Once they were done feeding them, the blonde said, "Now, what do I give them to drink?"

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "O.K., "What's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy, W."

Q: Why should you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them every Monday.

How can you tell if a blonde sends you a fax? It has a stamp on it.

A blonde walked into a gas station and said to the manager, "I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?" "Why sure," said the manager, "We have something that works especially well for that." A couple minutes later, the manager walked outside to see how the blonde was doing and he heard another voice. "No, no! A little to the left," said the other blonde inside the car.

One day while jogging, a man noticed two tennis balls lying by the side of the road. He picked the balls up, put them in his pocket and proceeded on his way. Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blonde standing next to him and smiling. "What are those big bulges in your running shorts?" she asked. "Tennis balls," answered the man, smiling back. "Wow," said the blonde, looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable."