One day a blonde and a redhead were playing together over the redhead's house while the redhead's father was out. The father had a pet parrot, which he did n ot let anyone else touch. But, when he left, the girls took him out. The girls were playing with it, when the blonde grabbed the parrot and accidentally ripped out one of its wings. “Now you've done it!” the red head yelled at the blonde. “Go buy him another one just like that, here's some money.” The redhead went into her piggy bank and gave the blonde $50. “Okay,” said the blonde, “but it's going to hard to find a parrot with only one wing.”
Three women escape from prison….one is a redhead, one a brunette, and one a blonde. They run for miles until they come upon an old barn; they decide to hide in the hayloft and rest. When they climb up, they find three gunnysacks and decide to put them over their heads for camouflage. About an hour later the sheriff and his deputy come into the barn. T he sheriff tell his deputy to go up and check out the hayloft. When he got up there the sheriff asked him what he saw. The deputy told him just three gunnysacks. The sheriff told him to find out what was in them…..so the deputy kicked the first bag, which had the redhead in it……and she went “Bow-wow.” So the deputy told the sheriff there was a dog in the first one. Then he kicked the one with the brunette in it and she went “Meow.” The deputy told the sheriff there was a cat in the second one. Then he kicked the one with the blonde in it and there was no sound at all, so he kicked it again and the blonde said “Potatoes.”
One day a blonde woman entered an autobody shop claiming that she’d suffered extensive damage to her new car. The mechanic thought he’d have some fun with her so he told her that she didn’t need him to fixed all the dents. He said she could fix them herself by blowing into the tailpipe as hard as she could and they’d all pop out. The woman went home and proceeded to get down on her hands and knees in the driveway. She was blowing into the pipe as hard as she could and her face was turning purple when another blonde woman walked by and asked what she was doing. After hearing the whole story the second blonde pauses for a moment then responds, “Hello! The windows are down. Your personal check for the full $30,000.”
When you think that you are looking at Chuck Norris' picture, think again... he's looking at you.
Why do blondes clean their hair in the sink? Because that’s where your supposed to wash vegetables.
A blonde and a brunette are skydiving. The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord and nothing happens. She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing. The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells, "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"
Q. Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink? A. Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
What do blondes put behind their ears to attract men? Their knees.
A blonde, a redhead and a brunette look through a dictionary for the hardest words they know. The brunette's word is "quizzical." The redhead's word is "sardonic." The blonde's word is "di*k."
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde a dded, "it's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."