A blonde goes into a store and sees a shiny object on the shelf.
She asks the clerk, “What is that shiny object?”
The clerk replies, “That is a thermos.”
The blonde then asks, “What does it do?”
The clerk responds, “It keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold.”
The blonde says, “Oh! I could use something like that! I’ll take it!”
The next day, as she walks into work with her new thermos she spots her boss and shows off her shiny new thermos, “I just got this yesterday, isn’t it wonderful!
It’s a thermos and it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold!”
The boss asks, “And what do you have in it?”
The blonde replies, “Some coffee and a popsicle.”
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There was a blonde who was at an all blonde football game.
At halftime she was called down to answer questions to see if she could win $1000.
The first question was what is 10 plus 11?
She hesitates and says, "hm.. 5!"
The host says "No, I'm sorry thats incorrect."
All of the blondes in the stadium chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
So the host agrees and said, "Ok how about 5 plus 5."
She answers and says "20".
Again all the blondes chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
So the host agrees again and says, "OK, last chance, what is 2 plus 2."
The blonde says "4!" and the audience says "Give her another chance give her another chance!"
A road construction manager needed to hire someone to paint the yellow lines down the middle of a newly constructed road.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all get hired.
They are each assigned a section of the road.
The first day, the blonde paints 2 miles, the redhead 1.5, and the brunette only 1.
On the second day, the blonde paints 1 mile, the brunette 2, and the redheaed 2.5.
On the third day, the blonde only gets 1/4 of a mile done, the redheaed 3, and the brunette 3.5.
The manager decides to talk to the blonde.
"You haven't been painting as much road as you did on the first day," the manager said.
"What's the problem?"
"I'd be painting more, but the bucket keeps getting farther and farther away!"
blonde asked someone what time it was, and the person told her it was 3:45.
The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied, "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke.
A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat.
The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling, "You dumb blonde bimbo! It's blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I'd come out there and give you what's coming to you!"
Q: Why did two women walk into a saloon pointing bananas at people and shouting: "GIVE US YER LOOT!"
A: They were both blonds.
Three blondes are stranded on an island.
A fairy comes along and says that she will grant each person a wish.
So the first blonde says she wants to be really smart so she digs and finds a cell phone and calls the Army.
The second blonde says that she wants to be even smarter so she finds a flair and sets it off.
The third blonde says that she wants to be even smarter than both of them, so the fairy changes her hair color to black and she says,"Let's go over the bridge."
Vote:
Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.
Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.
There's 1 redhead 1 brunette and 1 blonde.
Their all at the NASA space center.
The redhead says to the flight technician, "I want to go to the moon".
The flight technician says she can go tomorrow. The brunette says, "I want to go to Mars".
He says she can go next week. The blonde says, "I want to go to the sun".
The flight technician says, "Don't you know you'll burn up?" The blonde says, "Well then I'll go at night."
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were atop a 5 story building when a genie appeared and told them to run to the edge, jump off, and name anything they want to become.
the brunette ran, jumped off, and said butterfly, the redhead ran jumped and said eagle, the blonde ran tripped over the edge and said "ah shit!"
