Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves. They had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one. They asked for a well-trained birddog, and got one. The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it out. The dog didn't work. No matter how hard they tried, it just didn't follow their commands. They became really frustrated and one of the blondes said to her companion, “Okay, we'll give him one more try. We'll throw him in the air one more time and if he doesn't fly, we're taking him back to the store!”
Blonde 1: Don't tell anyone but Bees scare me. Blonde 2: Dont worry, the whole alphabet scares me
A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown off. "How did this happen?" the doctor asked. "Well I was trying to commit suicide," the blonde replied. "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?" "No silly! First I put the gun to my chest and I thought, ‘I just paid $6,000 for these,’ then I put it in my mouth and I thought, ‘I just paid $4,000 to get my teeth fixed.’ So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought, ‘this is going to make a loud noise,’ so I put my finger in my ear before I pulled the trigger.”
Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice? Because it said concentrate.
Three blondes witness a crime so they go to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief shows them the first mug shot. "That's not him," the first blonde states. "This man only has one eye." The chief is stunned. "He only has one eye because it's a profile shot." He repeats the procedure for the second blonde. "That's not him.This man only has one ear," she answers. He smacks his head. "It's a profile shot." He repeats the procedure for the third blonde. After viewing the photo, she says, "That's not him. This man is wearing contact lenses." "How do you know that?" "Well," she says, "he can't wear glasses with only one eye and one ear, now can he?"
What did the blonde’s right leg say to her left leg? Nothing, they’ve never met!
What happened to the blond ice hockey team? They drown at spring training.
What’s the difference between a blonde and the Titanic? They know how many men went down on the Titanic.
Why did the blonde snort sweet n' low? She thought it was diet coke.
One day 2 blondes walked into a tanning salon. One blonde said, " A tan for 2 please!" The cashier said, " Ok," filled out a form for them and asked, "are you two sisters?" They chuckled and replied, " No, we aren't even Catholic."
What’s the difference between a blonde and a 747? Not everyone’s been in a 747.