Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves.
They had read that a birddog is a great and useful accessory in bird hunting, so they decided to go to the pet shop and buy one.
They asked for a well-trained birddog, and got one.
The two blondes immediately went to the woods to try it out.
The dog didn't work.
No matter how hard they tried, it just didn't follow their commands.
They became really frustrated and one of the blondes said to her companion, “Okay, we'll give him one more try. We'll throw him in the air one more time and if he doesn't fly, we're taking him back to the store!”
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Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.
A blonde and a brunette walk past a flower shop and see the brunette's boyfriend buying flowers.
She sighs and says, "Oh crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again. Now, I'll be expected to spend the weekend on my back with my legs in the air."
The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"
After losing his fortune, a Texas oilman decided to spend his last twenty bucks at a whorehouse.
He entered and promptly went up to the Madam and asked her what he could get for $20.
The Madam gave him a lengthy stare and told him to go upstairs, last door on the left.
He proceeded to march up the stairs and entered the room.
To his shock and pleasure he saw a beautiful blonde waiting naked on the bed.
So he tore off his clothes and jumped on and started pumping away for dear life.
Upon orgasm he noticed that stuff started oozing out of her eyeballs.
He runs down to the Madam to report this and she looks at him turns around and yells, "Hey Charlie....... The dead one's full again!"
Standing beside a valiant stallion, a beautiful blonde decides she must ride this animal despite having no previous riding experience.
Soon, she finds herself atop the horse's back, galloping through a lush green meadow.
Unsuspecting, the horse suddenly picks up speed and she finds herself euphoric over the freedom she is experiencing.
Once again, the magnificent animal picks up speed except this time her inexperience gets the better of her.
She finds herself barely able to hang on.
The startled horse is now in a dead run and the beautiful blonde finds herself hanging off to one side of the horse, her head just inches from the ground... catastrophe seconds away.
She begins to frantically scream for help when all of a sudden...
Frank, the Wal-Mart door man, calmly walks up and unplugs the ride.
Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?
A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head!
Most men regard blondes as a golden opportunity.
What is the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?
A washing machine doesn't follow you around for three weeks after you dump your load into it.
Vote:
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday Night morning?
"Tell her a joke on Monday Morning."
Q:Why did the blonde have a triangular coffin?
A:Because as soon as her head hits a pillow she spreads her legs!