Joke #5745

A blonde takes her typewriter to the doctor. "Doc, I'm afraid my typewriter is pregnant." The doctor asks, "Why in the world would you think that?" She says, "Because it's started missing its period."

Q: Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency? A: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.

Q. What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes? A. Frosted Flakes.

Q: What do you get when you give a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change.

How does a blonde commit suicide? She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

How come you don’t find stupid brunettes anywhere? Because they all painted themselves blond.

A blonde was having sharp pains in her side. The doctor examined her and said, "You have acute appendicitis." The blond yelled at the doctor... "A cute appendicitis! I came here to get medical help, not get a stupid compliment!"

How do you break a blonde's nose? Place a dildo under a glass table!

Q: Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice for two hours? A: Because the can said "concentrate" on it.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead go on holiday to a tropical island. The brunette takes a beach umbrella, the redhead takes a crate of suntan oil, and the blonde takes a car door. ‘What are you doing with a car door?’ asks the redhead. The blonde replies, ‘If it gets too hot, we can roll the window down.’

Did you hear about the blonde who was treated in the emergency room for concussion and severe head wounds? She’d tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungee cord.