Joke #5745

A blonde takes her typewriter to the doctor. "Doc, I'm afraid my typewriter is pregnant." The doctor asks, "Why in the world would you think that?" She says, "Because it's started missing its period."
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How does a blonde answer the question, ‘Are you sexually active?’ ‘No, I just lie there.’
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What’s blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette…? A blonde doing cartwheels.
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One day in class, the teacher told everyone to turn to a blank sheet of paper in their notebooks. She noticed that Chip, the dumb jock, was having trouble with her directions. "Have you found a blank piece yet, Chip?" said the teacher. "Nope. I haven't," said the dumb jock. "Somebody went through and drew lines across all of the pages."
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Q: What did the blonde say when she was offered a position at the UN? A: Would that be a "missionary position?"
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How many blondes does it take to make a circuit? Two. One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer!
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One day a blonde, brunette, and redhead were stuck on an island 100 miles away from civilization. The only way to get home was to swim. The brunette swam 50 miles before drowning. The redhead swam 64 miles before getting attacked by a shark. The blonde went 99 miles but got tried a swam back to the island.
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What can save a dying blonde? Hair transplants.
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What do you call ten blondes at the bottom of the pool? Air pockets.
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A blonde went to her mail box several times before it was even time for the mailman to make his rounds. A neighbor noticed her repeated trips to the curb and asked if she was waiting for a special delivery. Her reply: "My computer keeps telling me I have mail."
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