A blonde was walking down the street with shower caps on her breasts.
A guy asked her, "Hey, what's with the shower caps?"
"Shower caps?" she responded, "These are booby condoms!"
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
A blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.
She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but didn't want to pay the high prices.
After unsuccessfully haggling with of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde said, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price."
Later in the day, the shopkeeper spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand.
She took aim at an alligator, killed it and hauled it onto the swamp bank.
Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures.
The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blonde flipped the alligator on its back and shouted in frustration, "Damn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either."
A blonde walked up to a man and said, "Give me your wallet."
The man said, "Okay, but give me the gun."
The blonde gave him the gun and the man gave his wallet.
The man used the gun to steal his wallet back.
The blonde said, "You're an idiot...there's no bullets in the gun."
The man replied, "You're the idiot...here's no money in the wallet."
Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist?
A: "Why, I just love nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?"
As a blonde crawls out of her wrecked car, the local sheriff asks her what happened.
The blonde began, "It was the strangest thing!
I looked up and saw a tree, so I swerved to the right.
Then I saw another tree, so I swerved to left.
Then there was another tree, and another and another ..."
The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, "Mam ... I don't know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener."
Q: How do you know a blonde's having a bad day?
A: Her tampon's behind her ear and she can't find her pencil...
A blond whines at her mother:
Mother, I’m impregnate!
What?
Where the hell was you’re head?
What do you mean by that, on the pillow off course!
If blondes and bimbos were the same thing, the prefix 'bim' could be used to create new words that describe them:
Bimbabble - noises coming from a group of blondes
Bimbaffled - constant mental state of blondes
Bimbait - short skirts, sheer blouses, string bikinis or other clothing worn by blondes in an attempt to attract the attention of males
Bimbar - a bar where blondes hang out wearing bimbait
Bimbag - a blonde's purse
Bimbrushes - essential equipment in a bimbag
Bimbastic surgeon - specialist in breast enhancements for blondes
Bimbeeper - special instrument used as a homing device for lost blondes
Bimbellow - sound emanating from a blonde after she finally got the most recent blonde joke she heard
Bimbillion? - a blonde giving an estimate of anything
Bimblaze - the result of a blonde trying to cook
Bimblues - a blonde's state of mind after her latest boyfriend ditched her
Bimboette - a young blonde
Bimbonese - language spoken by blondes, largely unintelligible to anyone else
Bimbonique behavior - airhead behavior, unique to blondes
Bimboozle - to fool a blonde
Bimbore - a blonde who uses "like" more than 10 times in a sentence
Bimbozo - another name for a blonde
Bimboron - a blonde even less intelligent than most other blondes
Bimbrownie - a well-tanned blonde
Bimbrunette - a blonde who dyes her hair brunette, usually to appear smarter than she actually is
Bimburden - blonde carrying too many bags at the mall
A blonde women is sitting in her garage, alone, with a gun to her head.
She is depressed and finally decides that she just can't live anymore.
Then, her husband comes home, finds her with the gun and begs her not to do it.
"Please, honey, don't do it, i'll do anything you want, but please, don't kill yourself!" he pleads.
"Shut up! your next!" the blonde says.
We went to see a movie the other night.
I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier.
Just as the feature was about to start, a blonde from the center of the row got up and started working her way out.
“Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me.”
By the time she got to me, I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient, so I said, “Couldn’t you have done this a little earlier?”
“No!” she said in a loud whisper. “The ‘TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE’ message just flashed up on the screen and mine is in the car.”