A blonde was walking down the street with shower caps on her breasts.
A guy asked her, "Hey, what's with the shower caps?"
"Shower caps?" she responded, "These are booby condoms!"
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Q: How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea?
A: Inflate it.
A blonde was trying to sell her old car.
She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had almost 230,000 miles on it.
One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon.
The brunette told her, “There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it’s not legal.”
“That doesn’t matter,” replied the blonde, “if I can only sell the car.”
“Okay,” said the brunette. “Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will ‘fix it’. Then you shouldn’t have a problem anymore trying to sell your car.”
The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic.
About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, “Did you sell your car?”
“No,” replied the blonde, “Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!”
Chuck Norris drives in reverse and still drives better than you...
Q: What goes vroom, screech, vroom, screech, vroom, screech?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
Two Blonde men were in the woods hunting.
One looked at the other and said, “I’ve got to take a crap.”
The other said, “Well go behind one of those big trees, and crap.”
The first one said, “But I don’t have any paper to wipe my ass.”
The other blonde replied, “You have a dollar, don’t you?”
The first one said, “Yeah, I’ve got a dollar. That’s a great idea– I’ll use that!”
He left and came back with crap all over his hands and clothes.
His friend looked at him and asked, “What in the hell happened to you?”
The first one replied, “Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?”
What did the blonde say about blonde jokes?
She said they were pretty good, but might offend some Puerto Ricans.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are crossing an enchanted bridge in Magical Fairyland when they run into a fairy.
The fairy says that they can be granted a transformation if they jump off the bridge and call out their wish.
The brunette immediately jumps off the bridge and yells "Eagle!" She turns into a beautiful bird of prey and flies away.
The redhead jumps off the bridge and yells out "Salmon!" She turns into a gorgeous shimmering salmon and swims upstream to spawn.
The blonde is at this point so excited that she jumps off the bridge without thinking of her wish.
She panics.
"Crap!"
One day, a team of blondes and a brunette team took part in a fishing contest.
They went to the Frozen Lake and installed from a two different perspectives.
The brunettes were making fish one after another, but the blondes were unlucky.
The blonde team gathered around in a circle and start a discussion about the problem and wanted to find an answer for it.
After two hours they decided to send someone to spy on the other team, so they can find out what the brunettes were doing differently.
The blonde spy goes and hides behind the bushes.
After a while, breathless arrives at her team and screams with joy: "I’ve found it! I’ve found it! We gonna rip them off!"
All the blondes, full of wonder asked her: "Spit it out, what do the brunettes do differently?"
"Whole! They’re opening a whole in the ice!"
What do you see when you look into a blonde’s eyes?
The back of her head.
A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job. The officer wants to ask her a few questions...
Officer: What's 2+2?
Blonde: Ummmmm... 4!
Officer: What's the square root of 100?
Blonde: Ummmm... 10!
Officer: Good! Now, who killed Abraham Lincoln?
Blonde: Ummmm... I dunno.
Officer: Well, you can go home and think about it. Come back tomorrow.
The blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. The blonde says, excitedly, "Not only did I get the job, I'm already working on a murder case!"